You say CLI is for 'techie nerds', but I feel like you are dismissing something that is a hidden gem of sorts. Let me show you the power of CLI.

With steempy, you can just do this:
steempy newaccount throwaway777 --account furion
It will ask you for a password (pick something secure), generate your keys and save them in a BIP38 encrypted wallet. Thats it.

Ok, how about delegation?
steempy newaccount throwaway777 --account furion --fee "9 STEEM"
In this example, you are only paying 9 STEEM in fee, and delegating the rest of the cost. steempy will calculate that for you, and do all the things required.