This is by far the best thing I’ve read in a while:
A South-African undertaker is suing a pastor for performing a resurrection on its premises, which, according to the company’s statement, caused ‘malicious damage to our image'. The facts are quite simple, a local miracle worker gathered a large crowd of mourners around the coffin, said a few prayers, put his hands on the deceased, who promptly came back to life and looked around confused.
An excellent thing for the dead guy, but quite bad business for the Kings and Queens Funerals. You really cannot trust them anymore now, can you? I mean, you pay for the whole thing, have relatives travel from all around the country, accommodations are made, restaurant booked for the after-party, all this work ruined by the deceased springing back to life. Just imagine it is you traveling to the funeral of great-aunt Marla you haven’t seen since you were ten. I bet you would be quite pissed you took time off work, bought plane tickets etc etc and then you discovered some clown decided to bring her back. And for what? So six months from now you have to go through all the trouble again and you won’t even know if the old girl is dead for real this time.
Obviously, there’s more to this story and the incident brought to national attention the problem of fake pastors making a fortune with such antics, but you have to admit it is a funny story. You don’t have to believe it, it’s only there to make you laugh while you’re having your morning coffee.
Some days I read real news while I have my coffee, but there are also mornings when I cannot be bothered with who said what and the latest political scandal here or abroad. On such days, I find that the only title I can bring myself to click on is the ‘joke of the day’. Could be it is old and not that funny, but at least it doesn’t burden my mind with negative thoughts.
The main title on the site I found the resurrection story was about the tensions about India and Pakistan, something we haven’t had for a while. Two nuclear powers locked in an endless battle over the Kashmir region. I know things will probably cool down in a few days, yet do I want to trouble myself with the thought of what would happen if...? No, because it never ends. No, because there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
Fear sells just as good as sex and the media never fail to provide both. Deep down we’re very much aware of our very fragile claim to life and we cannot help feeling worried when something bad happens. The terrible earthquake thousands of miles away, the plane crash in a far away ocean, food poisoning in a place you’ve never heard of - we take an interest to such stories mainly to congratulate ourselves it’s not us.
Fear keeps us in line, too. Every time you’re scared some terrible thing could happen, like a nuclear Armageddon, you’re much more inclined to look up to those who can protect you, your government, the police, the Americans, doesn’t matter as long as they keep you safe. Do you have time to get pissed they’re screwing you over with the taxes? All the scandals, all the corruption, all the insane laws they come up with, they don’t mean a thing when you have bigger problems to worry about.
Again, take a look at today’s news - Trump just called Kim a fantastic leader or something like that. Not so long ago, everybody was worried about a possible Korean attack. Well, not anymore. You can relax, it’s been taken care of. Just when you think you’re safe, there’s a new threat, India and Pakistan. God only knows what will be our major fear three months for now!?
All things considered reading about the fake resurrection is the best option if you want to preserve your sanity! I wish I could do that, just ignore all the scare-mongering, but I’m not sure I can.
