Last year I went through a really traumatic experience, I was held against my will, had my childs passport and mine taken so we couldn’t leave the country, had my sim card taken and mostly all of my contact monitored with the outside world (including my ex having passwords to all my social media accounts) was physically assaulted on numerous occasions, was physically unable to leave the Solomon islands with my child, and had my child used against me as a tool of manipulation to control me for 4 ½ months while I was separated from her. All these screenshots of DM’s between my ex and myself are in chronological order and are evidence that I haven’t been lying. Speaking openly about what happened has been very empowering for me and I hope by sharing my story i can hopefully challenge the ideas, customs, and social behaviour of a society that might think this kind of behaviour is justifiable as well as empower other women to see and value their own worth.
If a man wants to dictate if you get to be a part of your own childs life, who your friends are, what clothes you wear, whether you have a cellphone, what pages you like on facebook, what you post on social media, that the only males you’re allowed to communicate with have to be blood related, who you talk to and where you go then that’s not a relationship, it’s a dictatorship. People have said that by wearing leggings I was disrespecting my exs wishes but if his wishes originate from his own petty insecurities and undermine my basic, simple right and freedom as a human to choose clothes, then whose really being disrespectful?! People have said that by talking back I was asking to be constantly hit but if God didn’t want us as women to have a voice and to use it, he wouldn’t have given us a mouth, voice box and double the word count than of that of a man on the daily. So, if a man wants to control and filter you expressing your feelings, thoughts, opinions and ideas verbally, then whose really being disrespectful? People have said I made him that way/do those things but let me clarify, never in my whole life have I held a gun to his head and ordered him to do any of those things to me. Nup, Not once mate. There is only one person who is responsible for his actions and that is himself. People have said it’s just because he’s jealous because he loved me too much, but that’s not love, that’s just power trippin’...love liberates and love is freeing, not controlling and refusing of basic human rights as well as my rights as a mother. This kind of behaviour is unacceptable, and ladies out there if you’re in a relationship that feels like you’re in a prison, my advice is you need to escape! I encourage you wholeheartedly to stand up for yourselves, stand up for your rights, love yourself enough to walk away from anyone who doesn’t value your rights as a woman, because at the end of the day that’s the best way you can love yourself. And no one can love YOU better than YOU! I hope I can enlighten minds and spread some positive vibes of self love and that anyone who is in similar circumstances with their relationships at this point in time will read this and feel empowered to do what’s best for them. Ok, that’s my piece said, i’m out xoxo
P.s (names of the man have been changed to squidward & spongebob...disclaimer: squidward and spongebob have no affiliation with this)