Dear 2017.
We have had our ups and our downs. Just like any year has, but you, you were different. You really took me on a roller coaster ride. You made me experience things that made me take a hard good look at myself and see some cracks within me that I never knew I had. Or should I say that I never realized were cracks.
A year I thought was going to be some “fun just out of school” journey but really turned into a self discovery journey. With lots of tears but also loads of laughs, challenges, lightbulb moments, new friendships, memories... You name it.
I experienced it all, in just a year.
It was probably also the most busy year of my life! Along with late nights and early mornings. As I happened to stumble into a year long gap year programme at my local church. Something I never in a million years thought I would do! But somehow that was the only door that opened for me after high school. A God sent door, I believe. And so I took it, not knowing what it was going to take me through. And oh boy, was it something😅.
We were constantly busy with daily courses, teachings, charity work, drama productions, mission trips, outreaches, trips and serving people on a Sunday. And with “we” I mean me along with 6 other gap year students. And we basically lived in each other’s pockets day and night for about 10 months 😅. So you can just imagine the fights, the irritations, the tension, the chaos! But through that all we came out as close as ever, a family.
2017, you made me realize I had to work on my faults rather sooner than later. And clean up my life by chucking somethings and some people out. Unfortunately it was my whole inner circle that I had to change from being on my friend list to being on my aquintance list. I also needed to endure a tough breakup, which was also something I had to let go of. My focus needed to be fixed from how popular I wanted to be to where I want my life to go. So when I fixed my focus, I realized I needed like minded people around otherwise I was going to be dragged down again. Because that’s all it was, who I surrounded myself with and who I decided to listen to became who I was.
Last year, 2017, made me realize how dangerous it was becoming. Because I was becoming more and more stuck in that. And more and more lost into being someone that wasn’t me. I had to let go...
In order to gain who I was created to be, in order to gain God.
2017, you were a pain in the ass😂, you were heartbreaking 💔, soul crushing, painful but you were also very very necessary because you gave me confidence, like minded people, supportive community, vision and purpose.. For that I’m ever thankful!
This is probably the first time in my entire life that I feel like I’m doing the right thing, I feel like I’m finally on the right path, and headed in the right direction. I’m becoming the person that God has always intended for me to be.
2017, you were my worst year and best year in one.
Sincerely, the 1st Jan 2018 me.