When I was my sons age...

my parents would get into these insane arguments and of course they would turn very physical. My mother was the only girl in her family and growing up, my uncles made sure she could handle herself. This only made things worst for my dad.

^{Back In The Day}

^{Summer 2013}

Never lay your hand on a lady but you can't let her go ape shit on your face

Mom knows how to fight and is not afraid to throw down. So when arguments got out of hand, he had to either back into the corner and take the punches or grab the wrist to stop her from swinging. Of course, nobody is going to let hold down their arms and expect you to calm down. The obvious next move would be my mom kicking or trying to yank her arms free. My dad would then wrap around her to control her upper body and continue pleading with her to calm down.

The Neighbors Get Involved

I grew up in a pretty bad neighborhood in Houston, Tx. (More On That Later) The one awesome benefit of this hood, were our neighbors. My Grandpa and Grandma wanted to keep my mom close and decided to build a house for my parents, on the same lot. So any time shit got out of hand, I ran out the house around the little path my infant feet made in the grass and into Grandmas arms so she could make them stop. I took full advantage of this and anytime I would get in trouble or knew something bad was about to happen..

I'd run out the house around the corner, follow my path all the way into Grandmas arms

I'm a big boy now

23 years later, I have a beautiful son.. He is loved and I am learning so much from him. I'm arguing with his mother.. Why can't she just shut the fuck up and listen because I'm right and she's always wrong

WHACK!!! - a hole in the wall

My son runs out of my bedroom, into the hall around the corner into my moms arms.. I realized at that moment, I've become what I hated as a child. Selfish and full of rage.. pissed off because nobody will believe me when I absolutely know without a doubt that I AM RIGHT. Somebody was playing mind games, fucking with my head and my "babymama" wasn't making it any better by telling me I need to calm down. Thieves keep trying to steal my truck and everybody tells me to let it go, drop it.. it's not worth stressing about.

My Grandma Eva

^{My Mom & Grandma}

She was diagnosed with leukemia in 2013 and her health started to deteriorate fast. She was getting weaker by the week and our family started to prepare for the worst. Those battles I was dealing with before were no longer important. My grandma called on me one day and sat me down for a talk. She urged me to get my life in check and to reconsider this "acting career" I was pursuing. My priorities were jacked up and I needed to be a better man then I was acting at the time, so I listened.

^{The Day of The "Talk"}

As I watched her health decline, the rage slowly returned. There was nothing I could do to help her... I had nobody to talk to because the people I thought I could trust, stabbed me in the back. I blamed everyone else for everything that was happening. I realized I needed to focus on something to get my mind off of being soo angry.. I decided to audition for a film, B.O.O.S.T. and was cast that same day.
I ran to my grandma and told her the good news.. promised it wouldn't distract me from the changes I made and she was proud.

^{The very day I returned home from filming, she was in the hospital}

^{Showing my grandparents pictures & videos being "On Set"}

I returned home from filming and my grandma was in the hospital. I walked into the room with a bald shaved head and she grinned at the site of her grandsons new hairdo.

When Can I See The Movie?

The worst question I would ever hear to this date. The doctors had only given my grandma a few months to live and the movie wouldn't be finished in over a year. My heart dropped the moment I realized this... I worked so hard to get here and committed so much of my life and finally able to reap the rewards at the expense of my grandmothers life?

^{before we left that night^{^{When My Heart Dropped}}}

How would you feel?

It was at this time, she made the decision to stop chemo therapy. She was tired, frail and ready to move on. She accepted her fate and gave all glory to God. We as a family had to come to terms and prepare to grieve... My grandmother, on her death bed was at peace. Fuck Cancer and Fuck God for putting her through this hell.. WHY? Please God, Why? Our whole family had our own ways of grieving..

ME... I took that RAGE

and made a video..

Goodbye American Beauty

Finally, I was about to hit the bottom of the pit, rock bottom

Rest In Peace Grandma, I love you and miss you soo much.

Episode 5 was inspired by the realization drawn from the following post

Episode 5 - Goodbye American Beauty

When I was my sons age...

Never lay your hand on a lady but you can't let her go ape shit on your face

The Neighbors Get Involved

I'd run out the house around the corner, follow my path all the way into Grandmas arms

I'm a big boy now

WHACK!!! - a hole in the wall

My Grandma Eva

When Can I See The Movie?

How would you feel?

ME... I took that RAGE

and made a video..

Goodbye American Beauty

Finally, I was about to hit the bottom of the pit, rock bottom

@the-alien - zen and the art of not giving a fuck

Catch up on the episodes in this series:

Extremely Awkward and Incredibly Honest

Episode 1: Awareness

Episode 2: Heaven Shine a Light On Me

Episode 3: Grab Your Balls and Face Your Fears

Episode 4: I'm Having a Baby Boy