Don't You Hate It When...
Why the chat room dies when you arrive?
An overload of communication between peers and acquaintances comes to a comical screeching stop once you type in your message, "What's up guys?"
crickets
What was at one moment, a room full of active users and trolls yapping, bullying or gossiping causing your page to freeze as if there was too much data raging back and forth, is now a page deserted and void of energy.
That lonely feeling we try to avoid surges back and slaps you in the cheek. The initial shock pushes you down into a corner but you still look up for answers.
What did I do?
What did you do?
Am I guilty?
Is that a question only a guilty person would ask or is that a question of desperation... Surely everyone knows you are a very honest and loving person. The question is really, Do I know if I'm really a honest and loving person?
Sometimes, it just isn't enough...
When I go into a chat room on my phone or on my computer.. I am expecting to be greeted. I don't see anything wrong with expecting this as we all made the decision to become an active member of a community. You might disappear for a while as you pursue other activities that interest you but that shouldn't cancel the benefit of being or feeling welcome.
If your actively engaging with others and branch off or get distracted by something else. You shouldn't have to worry about returning to where you left off but you will suffer consequences. It's unfortunate because your position will have remained the same but your peers will already have moved on.
Redemption
Why do we seek redemption... why do we look to win back what we once had... why do we have this need to be a part of a bigger picture or feel important?
At this very moment I am struggling with these questions... I stepped away from a few sites I was actively communicating on and when I returned, I noticed a comment left on my profile along with someone else who responded and I was concerned. When I questioned the community, nobody responded... nobody cared... or was nobody around?
The beauty of technology and its genius developers managed to get one thing right... the creation of advanced notifications and "read receipts"
The double checkmark should be sufficient enough for you to feel better. You shouldn't wallow away in depression and lost in silence. Being able to see this let's you know.. somebody is out there, they do see you and they aren't ignoring you. If they decide to respond or not is a whole different question but does it really matter?
NO, IT DOESN'T
You did your part and made an effort and that's what counts. What might seem to be important might not really matter. Do not let this bother you or tare your world apart. You are not alone, everyone likes and appreciates you... nobody has a negative impression to consider because all you have given is everything that represents you.
When you stay positive and ignore any negative thoughts, emotions or people for that matter.. you will eventually begin to feel on top of the world again. Sure, it takes time and a lot of patience but those sacrifices you make will reveal themselves to be ugly and bitter parts of your ego that you never wanted at all.
Enjoy your life and be happy... I'm here to tell you, at this very moment that YOU ARE HAPPY
If your reading these words of mine, at this very moment... it's impossible to feel otherwise.
Believe it or not
I started writing this post with ugly and bitter intentions... As I progressed to this point, my writing triggered something in my noggin and I remembered how amazing I have felt recently. I realized I was on course to relapse into depression and fall flat on my ass trying to blame others for my own lack of mental clarity.
#Nobodysperfect
is a hashtag that me and 
You can't stay silent, you need to speak and eventually you will have to speak... Silence in itself is a lie. If you don't speak about it doesn't erase what happened.
Express Yourself
If I can do it.. You can too
With Love...
