FOR CLOSURE BY VICTORIA UKPAKA
WHEN LOSS HAPPENS;
Have you ever felt like your heart is being ripped from your chest? You want to cry but the tears are too heavy to fall. Then you wonder if it’s all some kind of test or its just you or the pain is also felt by the rest. Even then, how could anyone understand how you feel? its surreal nature makes you wish to wake up to the reality your heart wants to believe but your head is telling you something totally different. Every second feels like an hour because moving on from the pain seem so impossible, wondering if you will ever be the same again, if the sun will break forth through the heavyset clouds?
Have you ever felt you have been dealt a great injustice and you wished you can turn back the hands of time to stop what had happened or change it or appreciate each second that you feel you wasted? Have you really ever cried so much that you have no tears anymore instead groans that roar your pain break out from your throat?
THE JOURNEY OF PAIN;
Losing someone you love or cared deeply for, to death, to circumstances of change, to the distance of the oceans, to factors that you are powerless to fight against, to factors that you wished that you can afford the ammo to prevent; can hurt so deeply that every breath is laboured and every step is heavy and time seem to slow down and you wish constantly for the pain to ease.
Sometimes it seems that the one leaving people behind is selfish because those left behind are left to deal with the loss but then life has to continue. How hard it is to continue being normal, normal becomes overrated. When distance of continents and oceans creates the chasm it’s never the same anymore, the loved ones on this side will have to learn to move on, to adjust and learn to live again. Death is inevitable but no matter how often it happens, no one ever gets used to it. Often times we can’t relate on a personal ground with those who have lost loved ones because we have never known that kind of pain. Oh how fortunate! So never you say you understand when you have not been there because you don’t!
THE ACCEPTANCE AND MOVING ON:
It’s never easy to go on and it’s never the same, but the best to ever do is cherish the good memories, reminding yourself, keeping them alive in your heart while doing yourself a great favour by living again, taking it one day at a time. Learning to make good use of times you have with your loved ones, understanding that times change and we have to change with it while we maintain our core nature. As one who is empathizing and sympathizing, understand that people dealing with loss do not need platitudes because they feel mocked, so help them by doing the little things; a shoulder to cry on, an arm to lean on, the support to go on, the light of laughter and the healing balm of love. As for you who has lost someone accept and surround yourself with life, with love through people that will remind you that life is still worth more than taking it a day at a time thereby finding closure.