It’s over ten years since I first came across Non-violent Communication (or NVC), thanks to my friend and guide Rev. Hilary Woollett. It’s the gift that keeps on giving from originator and master communicator Marshall Rosenberg, pictured below with NVC totems jackal and giraffe, who formulated the first principles in 1960’s America.
By Etan J. Tal - class="int-own-work" lang="en">Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link
For OurNet, where my role sits largely within communication, I’m revisiting this profound methodology in the realms of ‘Communication for a World that Works’, i.e. a spotlight on a way of connecting with others, and ourselves, that can offer more of what I believe our hearts desire.
OurNet is essentially an online community communication concept, and whilst creating a new context where communities can connect more richly, our aim is not to be prescriptive or dogmatic.
I share this look at NVC with you, not necessarily as an endorsement or expectation, but as a possibility and point of reference, in a world where communication technology is increasingly sophisticated, yet the transmission and reception still often resorts to level: ‘primitive’.
It would appear we humans are being blessed with a next-level Gutenberg moment, and with it an absolute deluge of potentially liberating information and awareness. But we seem to be struggling to move beyond our hard-wired reactions of polarity, conflict and war – even if our new weapon of choice is a keyboard.
Hence the review of NVC. Here’s a way of lifting our relationships from the battlefield and into a more idealistic and experimental laboratory; ultimately into respect, love and compassion.
In Oxford, UK, on a hot Spring day in 2008, I attended my first NVC workshop with renowned trainer and exponent Bridget Belgrave. In her enobling environment, a sign greeted us that asked:
“Would you like to...
• Be honest without insulting people
• Be heard to your complete satisfaction
• Handle conflict with consequence
• Transform anger into positive communication
• Never hear blame or criticism again
• Inspire willing cooperation
• Deepen good relationships
• Enjoy people"
Who wouldn’t want any, or all, of those blessings in their lives?
So what follows is my conversation with Bridget, after the workshop, about Non-violent Communication, where I begin by attempting to put some NVC principles into practice.
Later in the interview I ask Bridget a BIG question: Is there a massive mis-match between what people are feeling and needing, and what our society gives them?
For that matter, are YOUR needs being met by the ‘common agreements’ of how our world operates in that curious and increasingly, ill-fitting place known as ‘normality’? If they’re not, if you feel like the proverbial ‘square peg’ you may wish to keep listening...
Listen to "Communication for a World that Works - Nonviolent Communication Revisited" on Spreaker.
Find out more about Bridget here: http://www.nvcdancefloors.com/
More general information about NVC here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_Communication
I finish with something my aforementioned friend Hilary said when I interviewed her about Nonviolent Communication:
“We have a tremendous power in our world to think before we speak,” she said. “And to know that there is another way of doing it,” she added.
Stay tuned for more ‘other ways’, here, on radio for a world that works: https://www.spreaker.com/show/radio-for-a-world-that-works