I almost called this my titual, cos i'm a massive fan of wordplay..

I don't doubt there are some camfolk that can just sit down in front of their computer, look gorgeous, be amazing, do their shift and put it to bed for the night. I envy them, cos it takes me at least 3 hours just to be webcamera ready. And then there's the downtime...

This might be the closest thing I can give in the way of advice.. Though I don't think many newbies will come here looking for tips. Either way, I enjoy giving insights into a world many don't know much about.

It all starts with booting up my fossil of a laptop. When I was all bright eyed and new to camming I had a brand new laptop with a built in HD webcam.. didn't take long for me to get drunk around it and spill a whiskey coke all over it. RIP baby laptop, hello painful credit card bill. My dilemma was I was without a computer but also without much money but needed a computer to make money. I did what any poor person would do and bought a second hand piece of crap just to get me by. I still use this piece of crap. The guy that sold it to me told me it was a tank and it fucking is. Yes, sometimes I need to hit that sweet spot just to start it up (repeatedly hitting the power key worked tonight) and I daren't let it update cos it takes 6 hours just to configure.. but once it's warmed up it still works pretty darn well. Reminds me of me.

Step two is get the area nice. Now, I have always just cammed from my sofa in my living room. I tried it in my bedroom, it didn't work. Horribly. I had grand dreams of setting up a beautiful space, maybe with a chaise longues, up in my attic, with a fast computer and a remote controlled conference webcam.. egh, why fix what's not broke? It's almost hard to write this, now I'm sitting on my lovely gorgeous leather corner sofa.. but until very recently I had to work with the shitty furniture I had. And that was a sofa that even the 70s couldn't be proud of. Terrible pattern, saggy cushions – I had to drape it with fabric everytime I got ready to cam – I don't think anyone ever saw the real sofa, just the chinzty fabric I got to cover it with. It ended up being a running joke with some of my early camcustomers; how bloody retro my sofa looked. Needless to say, they were heartbroken when I brought the new sofa in. I might use that old fabric to knock up some cushions, for the memories. I am not heartbroken. My new sofa is gorgeous and I do not miss this step of my ritual.

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(Thank god I'm such a selfiewhore, I captured every step of that awful sofa - and my sexy new one)

Next: Makeup. An enjoyable step because I do like putting it on. I've experimented with different looks and settled on a routine I rarely stray from. It makes me smile when guys tell me they love my natural look – mate, nothing you see is natural. Webcams really do wash you out, so even when I look 'natural', I wouldn't feel happy about nipping to the corner shop, in naural light, with all that slap on. I like to set my cam up before I do makeup, just so I can see the transformation. Go from some haggard looking tired thing to a kind of natural pretty thing. Even my boobs get a bit of bronzer, just to enhance what I was not given naturally (pancake peril) and I have learnt through trial and error that things I like doing in real life don't come across nicely on webcam – red lips and dark eyeliner, you're just no good here.

The final stage? I like to have a few beers, chill out, put some music on and get myself 'in the zone'. I'm a little embarrased to admit that I've probably never cammed totally sober. When I cam I need to sit here, for a few hours at least, and be charming, and sexy, and funny, and beautiful, and sell myself. Dutch courage helps me, and I was likely to end up an alchy anyway.. As for music. I used to religiously listen to a Lana del Ray playlist before going online. It helped me get into 'character'. Now I'm slightly more relaxed, I just put on whatever music I feel like listening to. If anything, people come to my room cos I've got decent tunes on, and that's a nice basis for conversation.

I hate feeling rushed, so I do like to take my time with all this stuff. Still doesn't stop me being a bit nervy before I login, even if I've done it hundreds of times before. Every night is unpredictable, that is half the fun (and half the despair) of camming. I'll never forget something I read, by some camgirl on some forum when I was just starting out: It's a performance. Every single time. You're putting yourself all out there and if you don't feel a few butterflies, this may not be for you.

Not verbatim. It was summat like that - for the life of me, can't remember where I read it, but it was comforting to read someone much more experienced than me still went through that.

I hope I'm not the only weirdo that has prelogin rituals... I might do a post for escorting. It's worlds apart.

And to keep myself nsfw, have a bit of tit <3

MY CAMGIRL RITUAL