help·mate
noun
a helpful companion or partner, especially one's husband or wife.
"she acted as his pleasant but by no means uncritical helpmate"
mother
female parent She's the mother of three small children. Adjective she often offered to babysit for friends, hoping to satisfy her mother urges until she had children of her own Verb She mothered two sons but no daughters. I hope to mother at least one child. “Mother.”
A helpmate is not being a mom just because you help your partner do you feel like your partner is a child or on a lower level.