One year ago today I was accepted into the College of Nursing at the University of Arizona. It should’ve been one of the most significant and amazing moments of my life thus far, and don’t get me wrong, I was ecstatic when I found out I was accepted. However, I was accepted in November of 2016, and 2 months prior to being accepted, my dad had passed away (September 11,2016). That had been the hardest moment of life, and him along with my mom were my two biggest supporters, so it was bitter sweet when I found out I got in. Going into the semester I had known that I wasn’t quite ready emotionally or mentally, but the process is so competitive I knew I couldn’t pass the opportunity up. I started my first semester of nursing school last January of 2017. The first month I did really well with all of my classes, academically I was doing great. Emotionally and mentally.. not so much. My dad had passed away unexpectedly from pulmonary embolisms, and of course that was one of the first subjects we learned about in two of my classes. While the other students were struggling to pass the tests and keep up with the material, I was struggling to keep mentally sane learning about what caused my father’s death. January came and went and I was starting to learn how to cope with my father’s death and nursing school.
February started and I was doing much better in all aspects. Then my great grandpa passed away, 3 days after my 21st birthday. All of my emotions that I had been slowly trying to work through all came rigjt back up to the surface. I didn’t understand why this would happen to my family and I. Again, I had to work on being emotionally and mentally present in all of my classes while trying not to go insane. The day of my grandpa’s funeral I had a test. Then the next 2 days I had my first round of clinicals, and that Friday I had another test. Looking back I don’t know how I did everything, but when you’re in those types of circumstances you have to do what you have to do, and you realize how strong your mind is.
I was slowly working on myself and making myself stronger through the month of March, and then my other grandpa passed away in April. I felt like I was slowly losing my mind and I couldn’t understand what I, or my family, possibly could have done to experience losing 3 of the most important men in my life all in a matter of 7 months. I was still going to try to finish nursing school because I only had 1 month left, when my grandma had to be rushed to hospital because we thought she may have had a stroke. It didn’t end up being a stroke, but at that point I had reached my breaking point. I had two A’s and two B’s in my four classses and I had one month left of my first semester, and I couldn’t handle anymore. I talked to my advisor, and being the most difficult decision I had to make I decided to withdraw from two of my classes. I did end up finishing two classes, but I had to be withdrawn from my cohort.
I had to write a letter to the board and explain my circumstances. Two weeks later I found out that I was re admitted into the program and now one year later I am restarting up with the program. I could’ve decided to finish my four classes and gone mentally insane and completely turn away from nursing after that first semester. But I decided to do what was best for me and start again when I felt ready. I am more ready then ever at this point to re start and continue the process of becoming a nurse. I want to help as many people, and I think going through everything I went through will help me tremendously in understanding what my future patients are going through, and will help me be there for them 100%.