"When you walk away, you don't hear me say: please, baby, don't go!" - Utada Hikaru (Simple and Clean)
This is a short analysis of the disconnection, sadness, and longing I feel when I see people working to meet their needs, which they know I could help with if my own needs were met... But rather than helping each other out, we both go our separate ways.
Q: Have you experienced something similar to this before? What was your reaction at the time or now while looking back?
I don't actually get these same feelings when thinking about the original unmet needs that like health, food, safety, etc... Instead, I feel these when my values of cooperation, closeness, companionship, support, and trust in meeting each others needs are unmet.
In addition to those feelings of disconnection and longing, I'm also confused and angry when I'm consciously thinking that they know my basic needs are the only thing holding me back from being there with them and helping them out! This is the emotional reaction I get when I inevitably ask the question, "Why are they going through that difficulty without me, rather than lending a helping hand and we both go through it together?".
Q: Have you thought similar thoughts/questions? Is there any confusion or anger when you ask this question? Is there a better thought process to approach this?
I know once I get through it (if I get through it) those same values of companionship, cooperation, etc. will never be truly satisfied by the same individual (or anyone) as long as I'm reminded of these experiences. Regardless of blame or fault, I know I'll have to find it in my heart to forgive them. I both simultaneously want to forget I felt the pain to begin with, so we can move forward in companionship... but I also don't want to forget what I learned after watching people walk on without me, so to speak (hence the quote).
After analyzing this though, I no longer feel that same intensity of negative emotions. Instead, feelings of appreciation and content are rising to the surface. Earlier, I reacted negatively when I saw or thought about how I could have helped. Now, I appreciate seeing what these people can do without me as they move forward.
Of course, I can still see where I could help or have helped (if I could) but it's no longer associated with my unmet need for cooperation and companionship... I believe I no longer feel that because those needs have been satisfied somehow through this process.
The source of that satisfaction is abstract and deep enough for another analyzation session, God willing.
Instead, I'll write an analogy. Since as a human family, these feelings, needs, and experiences naturally carry a lot of weight when put symbolically. There's no other source for plots and stories to draw from other than the human experience, that's what makes this work of discovery so significant! Then it can be embedded in art as it's already embedded in nature.
"So I wish people didn't forget that this world is round,
and that chasing the sun won't get us out.
It will only leave us disconnected as we forget the life that surrounds
us.
I'll never chase after you, but I'll watch you run ahead.
Instead, I'll chase the stars or walk back through obstacles I faced before.
Of course, I'll wait to see your face again approaching from the opposite direction.
And once again, I'll reach out my hand in peace... but this time just to give you, the lay of the land.
As it was my companion and yours, one neither of us can abandon."
Honestly, sometimes I wish we'd stop running in an outward direction and start running towards an inward direction! Towards the heart. Which makes the Kingdom Heart's reference all the much sweeter :) Plus, you can see the symbolism in the opening video (link below) and the chasing and obstacles involved. You'd recognize those same dynamics play out in the story as well.
