So here we are, numbers 5-1 in this glorious list bringing together the delicate artistry of the old masters with indiscreet marketing for headbanging mayhem made on a tight budget. Trigger warning: Unfortunately both of these seemingly unrelated fields of culture have an unhealthy attitude towards women. So if you recognise an underlying misogyny in this top 5, please understand that I'm laughing at it not with it. I love this era of music but find some of the attitudes reprehensible! With that out of the way, welcome to my delectable gallery...
'Et in Arcadia ego', late 1630s, Nicolas Poussin
Witchfinder General 'Death Penalty' 1982
Although ambiguous, one popular reading of the original is that this piece looks to the past of Greek and Roman culture, allowing us to consider the transience of human life. The tombstone reminds the shepherds that even in the idyllic paradise of Arcadia, death is still present and will come to them all.
The photographer of ‘Death Penalty’s cover has successfully echoed the theatricality of Poussin, whose interpretation of classicism and repose, peacefulness and rationalism is echoed in the poses of the protagonists, Witchfinder General themselves... in their interrogation of a page three girl. The ambiguity of this altercation echoes the numerous equivocal interpretations of the original’s emotional impact. The tombstone serves as a memento-mori, you can dwell on nostalgia for this album all you want, but its quite possible that Zeeb Parks finds his dark past as Witchfinder Genral vocalist somewhat embarrassing these days, and is therefore unlikely to don his civil war outfit again. Sad face.
'Rape of Europa', 1559-62, Titian
The Handsome Beasts 'Bestiality' 1981
In Titian’s mythological paintings, otherwise known as ‘picture poems’, the Venetian master uses painterly effects and a dynamic composition to convey the mythic import of this strange story. To be coerced by a god is apparently no ordinary human experience of sexual violence. Rather, it is a terrifying but transformative experience of supernatural possession or ecstasy, which (in the myth) lead to a world changing outcome.
The Handsome Beasts used their own 'picture poem' as the cover of their debut album 'Bestiality', packed with stories of social inadequacy and misanthropic behaviour inspired by their hometown Nuneaton. So the album’s title, along with the disturbing celebration of paedophilia that can be found in the album’s opener ‘Sweeties’ give us an idea of why the photographer chose to reference this painting. In this sensitive portrait of singer Gary Dallaway, the treatment of flesh on both characters is a wonder to behold. Although the role of beast and human have been reversed, I'm sure the intention is to show Gary as a metamorphosed god, whose close proximity to the pig beast implies aggressive bestial erotic fulfilment.
'Wanderer above the Sea of Fog', 1818, Caspar David Friedrich
Omega 'The Prophet' 1985
Wanderer above the Sea of Fog was composed in 1818 by the German Romantic artist Caspar David Friedrich. True to the romantic style, it could represent Kantian self-reflection, or a metaphor for an unknown future. The gloriously purple interpretation of the theme found on this album cover has been given an apocalyptic undertone by replacing the everyday wonderer with a 20th century soldier. This is genuinely my favourite NWOBHM album cover, like the music it manages to be ambitious and atmospheric on a two colour budget. ‘The Prophet’ is a great album and every home should own a copy, although I'm baffled that a new, weaker interpretation of this iconic design was knocked up for the 2012 High Roller reissue.
Check out this doom laden piece of progressive poetry then buy a copy, it will change your life (you’ll probably find yourself skipping the poorly judged Beatles cover, but there are enough extra tracks on the High Roller release to make this an album you'll keep coming back to time and time again).
'Perseus and Andromeda', late 1570s-early 1580s, Paolo Veronese
Preyer 'Terminator' 1986
There are countless depictions of gorgons attacking shackled virgins, a scene traditionally halted by the intervention of a brave young hero. In Veronese’s version of events, Perseus’ winged heels appear to allow him to hover over the salivating Kraken. However, in the Preyer interpretation of the legend, the absence of quest-exhausted Perseus delivering the final blow hints towards the true hero of this scene, the indisputable rock supremacy of these traditional Welsh heavy metal power-heads. Reformed with the original lineup, be sure to show them some love and get yourself a signed copy of this overlooked classic at their official site or you’ll be chained to a rock and forced to listen to me talk about paintings referenced in NWOBHM album covers. So when you're finally eaten by a giant monster it will feel like a massive relief...
'Gabrielle d'Estrées and one of her sisters' 1594 Unknown Artist
Rage 'Nice ‘N’ Dirty' 1982
Although this painting’s bizarre composition is often interpreted as a symbolic announcement that Gabrielle (the lady on the right) is pregnant with the child of her lover, King Henry IV of France, a more popular reading is that of an erotic piece. Even in 1935 it was considered so directly sexual (and therefore obscene) that it was hidden from the curious gaze of the public by a green curtain. Many art critics and historians sometimes refuse to acknowledge the homo-eroticism of the original image, and although the (cough) tasteful photograph used on the cover of Rage's sophomore offering acknowledges it fully, I have a suspicion this may have been intended for a predominantly male audience? Adverse publicity for tacky sexism successfully drove away fans of both sexes and the band struggled on until their demise in 1984. Which is a shame, Rage were a Liverpudlian hard rock entity previously known as Nutz. They enjoyed a fair bit of success throughout the 70s, releasing 4 pretty good albums (the first one is my favourite, full of prog leanings and successful experimentation, and yes, another misogynistic album cover!) before the dark days of the punk boom.
This interpretation of the mysterious and erotically beguiling original painting has also ignored its peculiar bias toward left-handedness. So not only does this interpretation of the original painting degrade women, but it subjugates leftys. Shameful behaviour!
In all seriousness, the first album after they revamped themselves for the NWOBHM and became Rage, ‘Out Of Control’ is really good and devoid of 80s big hair soft-porn, so get hold of that if you like this sample... They definitely deserve a higher pedestal so google them and buy their albums.
