Life WIth OCD
By Bluestormz (aka Dan)
When people think of obsessive compulsive disorder, they often think of someone turning a light switch on and off. Or someone tracing back their previous steps, washing hands, and many other general OCD rituals.
OCD for those of you who might not be familiar with OCD, the term stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
It is basically a mental disorder which impacts the behavior of a person who cannot understand why they’re doing a silly looking ritual. The behavior is sparked by a fear or trigger which creates a loop in their mind.
A ritual creates a temporary relief and then allows the brain to continue on with normal behavior, for a certain period of time.
It is a completely random event, I myself have many triggers around me. You could say that my case borderlines on severe-disabling at times.
With these triggers, it causes a person to be in a different mental zone, time simply goes by and doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that the thought provoking fear has to go away NOW.
I first discovered that I had the disorder when I was 8 years old. I would see an image of a stop light in my mind, and when a disturbing thought would enter my mind, if a red light turned on, I was in trouble. I would start waiting for the thought to change to a more positive one and then it would turn green.
As time went on, the rituals adapted and became your classic OCD rituals. Some handwashing, light switches, and fear of germs were the norm now.
At one point I actually had it under control for a while, I was tricking my mind into thinking the complete opposite thought of something negative entering my mind.
Ex: Walking down a sidewalk and someone passing by, they’re going to stab you…you better run. I would think no that’s silly, they’re just walking to their destination as I am.
So in closing, this is only a feeler to see if people are interested in learning about my specific case, and I will share more (without giving my last name) about how the OCD has evolved and made my life a living hell. Medications have been tried. With a mental disorder, there’s no exact fix unfortunately.
I thank you all for your time!
-Dan