I can still blog considering that my body is numb currently. It is just like that when I have much fluids within my body that it could handle. It happens and I remember a long time ago this thing happened when I was only getting one dialysis per week. The nurses would take 7 kilos of fluids from my body and a couple of days before my dialysis my body is just all numb.
When your body gets all numbed down you are to drag it for it to move. Things are heavy but I can still manage somewhat before. But it is different today because there is an issue of not being able to breathe normally so I am struggling to cope up and I just wished to die when this thing is happening to me.
I just wished that life has a restart button so that I could correct what things I have done wrong. But I remember when I got the findings of my kidney biopsy many years ago when the doctor told me that my kind of kidney disease will recur even when I get a transplant. It was the turning point of my life that changed me the way that I am now.
I am just surviving now because of my perseverance and willingness to find ways to improve my life and thanks to steemit community that it gave me more hope but I am worried that there is not enough time for hoping for better things to come because waiting might defeat hope as all is hard for me now.