You may be thinking: What the heck?!? This is the same pic Craiggles used in his last post, where he expressed 'Recreational Outrage' at the emoji creators for building an emoji of
Al Franken!
Try and guess which one is Senator Al Franken:
Today's post reflects my recreational outrage at the egregious inequality between the sexes, as demonstrated by the creators of these two emojis:
Are you as enraged as you have EVER been in your entire life?!?
How has society let this awful, horrific, BLATANT example of inequality between the genders make it this far?
I'm so mad I'm getting all sweaty again.
We MUST rise together to correct this grievous wrong!
Let's examine the outrageous differences between these two mer-people:
#1: The belly buttons.
COME ON! The male belly button is small and cute, you won't even find it unless you're looking for it.
The female belly button, looks like her body was designed by evolution to have a bullseye conveniently located in her center mass, for ease of execution by underwater snipers hunting imaginary sea creatures.
Either that or the designers compensated for the sea shells by giving her one great, big, surrogate nipple on the front of her body to balance out the equation.
Objectification of women!
Via her BELLY BUTTON!
Inexcusable. WHY should the belly buttons be different?!? Society has reached a new low...
#2: Jewelry.
Mermaid š§āāļø has a pretty necklace.
That's nice.
Merman gets:
2 pretty pieces of jewelry?!?
(They aren't bracelets, and they're not necklaces. They're something literally in between).
Wouldn't ONE have been enough?!?
Oh no, gotta one-up the LADY and give the fella TWO.
The last, and most stomach churning example of gender inequality I've ever witnessed IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, is exactly what I know is also on your mind right now:
That sweet, beautiful mermaid is being attacked by a Starfish eating her head!
Meanwhile, homeboy over here ain't lettin' nothin' unsettle his swagger -- and why should he be worried?
HE SHITS TRIDENTS!
There's the poor mer-chick, getting the blood sucked out of her face by a blood sucking bottom dweller, and she's reaching behind her, futilely, trying to crap out a little can of pepper-spray, a roll of quarters, maybe a rock (hope she doesn't find a handgun)!
SIGH
Inequality is everywhere folks, and it's up to us to STAND UP against the creeping doom of oppression. Concessions of any kind will lead us back to biblical times, when women weren't allowed to drive.
As we say in Canada:
"If you give them an inch,
they will take a kilometer."
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