Steemit Open Mic Week 79 - Original song "So Deluding"

This is my entry for Steemit Open Mic Week 79.

I wrote "So Deluding" almost 15 years ago. I was a very different person then and it's kinda weird going back into that part of my mind. It's a place I don't often go, and for good reason. I was at war with myself, I knew my words and actions were working against me on a daily basis. I was wrestling a foe I couldn't see and it was wearing me down.

Although the lyrics hint at finding a peace of sorts, when I discovered I'd been living in the past and wanting to change events that had already occurred, it still took me almost a decade to learn how to deal with my thoughts and emotions.

Lyrics:

Take me away from all that I’m feeling.
Take me away from where I’ve found myself just like before.
Pick me up, drag me out, make me believe that there’s more than all I can see
Through this version of me
So deluding

It’s not like I’ve let it become me.
It’s not like I let it all slip out from under my feet.
But it’s always inside, like the moon and the tide, like the reaper standing over my shoulder.
It’s Hard.

But now I see
I finally believe
That I have been living for yesterday

My emotions like a de-railing rollercoaster.
They toy with my overwhelmed and ill-fated temper.
Point it out, say it aloud but don’t make excuses for my bad behaviour of late
And my dealings with fate
So deluding

But now I see
I finally believe
That I have been living for yesterday, yesterday

Take me away from all that I’m feeling
Take me away from where I found myself again just like before…

Now I see
I finally, I truly believe
That I have been living for yesterday

Music and lyrics by Trevor Petrie (