Opinions - The other side of maximum fear

Scuba diver.jpg

I recently got myself certified as a PADI Open water scuba diver. This involved training in a swimming pool, and in the open ocean. This was to me the start of pursuing a new direction with the interests I have in my life; the interests that I want to pursue long into my future. While the road to pursue this interest further and deeper has now been opened, it was not easy going. I had to face my fear of the ocean in the face, and get over it.

This is how it happened.

I read this quote once, attributed to Will Smith;

“Everything you want is on the other side of your maximum fear”

I did not understand it fully before, but I understood the emotion behind it and what it meant. The weight of the words carried on me and I realised that it was true. Whatever you fear most, is what is keeping you from getting one of the best experiences or things that you would need. Be it some one you are in love and want to pop that question, or the fear that is keeping you from doing something you have always wanted to.

For me, that quote was exactly the thing that would be in my mind every time I was on the bike, in leathers and at the racetrack. There were things I was afraid to do, but always, whenever I felt stuck, I would think of the enormity of the above words. Most times, I would use it as the spearhead with which to conquer my fears. I also had the mindset to realise that my fear was nothing, if not irrational most of the same. But it would be there, and that would carry itself on to my mind, creating a mind block. Often times, that mind block took a while to go away, but most of the times, it was that understanding combined with the effect the above words had on me that enabled me to push through the mind block and do that thing I had to, or wanted to do.

But the power of the words never came to the fore as greater, or as necessary, than the first time when I was out in the waters of the open ocean, in the midst of my PADI open water diver certification course.

Yes, I had signed up for this training course and it was something I had been wanting to do for over a year now. I was well versed with the course, the study and the knowledge it required of me. But the one thing that always made me a little reluctant to do it was the fact that PADI requirements for being certified as an open water diver needed me to tread water (float on the surface of the water for 10 minutes with my head up all the time).

Whatever you fear most, is what is keeping you from getting one of the best experiences or things that you would need.

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And if there was one thing that I was bad at, it was being able to float on the water. In the last two years that I have started learning to swim, I never fully picked up the skill, and it was plainly evident to me at my efforts to float in the pool when I practiced.

I signed up for the PADI open water diver course with the full knowledge that treading water for 10 minutes was going to be a very, very hard ask for me. There was no way out of it. It had to be done.

And on the Sunday morning, out in the open ocean, my instructor asked me to tread water for 10 minutes. My worst fear had worked itself up in the morning and I had been distracted the entire boat ride. Now, I had to face them, and I had neither the heart nor the skill to do it.

I delayed, fiddled around, got into the water a couple of times, the tides always pushing me back to the boat. On the other instances I got into the water, I ended up swimming back to the boat when the water splashed on my face a little too much.

20 minutes, said my instructor; She had lost most of her patience at my weak efforts. If you do not tread water within the next 20 minutes, we will not be able to finish our dives and we will have to come back tomorrow.

I sat on the steps of the ladder as I looked at the water, moving up and down, making crests as the waves came and went. No other option, I said to myself. I realised that my survival instincts were in the overdrive and were not helping me.

I wanted my certification. It was everything I wanted that day.

And at that instant, the emotion of the words rang through my mind.

“Everything you want is on the other side of your maximum fear”

And the certification was everything I wanted. I had to beat my survival instincts that day. I had to get over my fear.

I jumped into the water, as far away as I could from the boat, held on to the tow line and drew myself further. I tilted my head back and let myself go. My legs came up, and the water carried me. I was treading water, face up.

The countdown started. The first minute felt strange and intense. Panic was kicking in. Some sea water entered my mouth. The salty taste was a strange remainder to stay calm. It was something familiar. I spit the water out and took a breath in. I remained on the water, orienting myself along the tow line and just holding on enough to not drift away.

A sense of rotation in all directions. A strange feeling of panic melting away into calmness. The incessant drone of water all around me. A Eagle flew overhead in the sky. I was still treading water as the 10 minute shoutout came, and did it for a few more minutes before I decided that I was okay doing this if necessary.

And done, said my instructor. We can start the final dives now.

Late that evening, I had got my first certification in the diving world.

Everything I wanted that day, had been on the other side of my maximum fear.

The power of those words carried me through.

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