In recent years it has become fashionable naive that optimism has very little to do with Positive Psychology . In fact, a wishful thinking can be extremely harmful, even toxic. Hope is not likely to develop excessive optimism that falls back to reality.
Both hope and optimism focus on a positive future. However, while hoping involves having faith that we will get positive results, the Toxic Optimism means having them, take them for granted. This kind of optimism develops when we let our emotions manipulated statistics to the point that our desire for something to happen far exceeds the actual outcomes that happen.
The excessive optimism, a disease that spreads rapidly
We may think that toxic optimism is rare but really is not. In fact, it is the reason why many entrepreneurs fail. These people have a business idea and their excitement is so great that they think it is a brilliant idea that has all the winning cards to succeed. Guided by this over-optimism, they do not create an emergency plan as they invest everything they have into that idea. Faced with adversity, setbacks and problems that always arise sooner or later, they have no plan that covers their backs, so they may end up losing everything.
Actually, the problem was not that the idea was not brilliant, maybe it was. The real problem was their excessive optimism, which led them to take too many risks and prevented them an objective development plan taking into account the problems that might arise in reality.
Obviously, excessive optimism is toxic not only for business but also for our personal and professional life. Commit too early in a relationship with a person who hardly you know and you can also spend an enormous emotional bill, for example. In this sense, the Stockdale Paradox is particularly revealing. James Stockdale was the highest-ranking American prisoner of war in Vietnam. He was held for 8 years and repeatedly tortured. However, he survived. While in captivity, Stockdale realized that prisoners least likely to survive were precisely those with an excess of optimism. These prisoners will not stop repeating that for Christmas they will all be home. However, they passed one and the next Christmas and they were still there, ended up depressed and surrendered. On the contrary, prisoners who maintained hope but at the same time, more realistic and not trying to escape his situation but accepted the horrors they were living with integrity, they were those who survived. the problem is that the naive optimism led to an emotional roller coaster marked by hope and disappointment that, ultimately, ended up running out to the person, both physically and psychological.
5 terrible consequences of toxic optimism for our life
Optimism allows us to keep hope and fight for what we want, but excessive optimism can make us careless and miserable people.
1. You lie to yourself. Keep excessive optimism, regardless of reality, is to lie to yourself, but worst of all is that we are not fully aware that we are deluding you.
2. You develop selective attention. Being overly optimistic will lead us to focus solely on the things we want to see. That excessive optimism will even interpret alarm signals as confirmation that all is well, leading us to ignore small problems, which are likely to continue to grow into insurmountable obstacles.
3. Taking steps in the wrong direction. The excessive optimism prevents an objective assessment of reality, as a result, we are not able to adapt our script to what happens and finish taking steps in the wrong direction, towards an unattainable goal .
4. Not having a plan B. In life, especially when we undertake major projects, it is essential to remain vigilant to changes in direction to correct the course and, if necessary, apply plan B . The toxic optimism even prevents us from assessing that possibility is like betting everything in a single hand, without being aware that there are likely chances to lose.
5. You develop unrealistic expectations. We organize much of our lives based on what we hope to achieve, which means we feed unrealistic expectations to live in the world of our minds, increasingly turning away from reality. In practice, it would be like always thinking, " why would I need an umbrella if it will not rain?"
How to protect yourself from toxic optimism without falling into pessimism?
When we think optimism we relate the metaphor of the glass. Be optimistic to think that the glass is half full, be pessimistic to think that is half empty. Obviously, no one questions the existence of the vessel, the emphasis is always put in perspective and interpretation of the water level.
It is also curious that in Western culture we tend to think that the good, the more the better things. However, the fact is that excess joy can degenerate into memory and emotional self-control that can become blunted affect. The end, even those cataloged as "positive", can become a double-edged sword.
In Taoism, since the events are not categorized as good or bad, a balance between the extremes is promoted. In this philosophy it is thought that any extreme, whether negative or positive, does not provide happiness and, ultimately, it is harmful.
1. Understand what is really optimistic. Some people assume optimism as a denial. In fact, even many Personal Development gurus sell it as such. The mantra is: " Have you gone wrong? No matter put positive mind ". Actually, if we have done wrong, we should seek the causes and learn from mistakes not to make them again. The beneficial optimism is one that allows us to move forward, despite the negative things but being aware of them.
2. Embracing proactive optimism. Being optimistic is positive, dozens of studies have shown its benefits for our mental and physical health. However, sitting and wanting something will not make it happen. Therefore, it is important that optimism is accompanied by an action plan. If we want something, we should not sit idly by , we must draw a realistic plan to achieve it . Only then optimism will pay off, otherwise lead to frustration.
3. Drink a dose of strategic negativism Someone said, " plan the best and prepare for the worst ". Not adopt a pessimistic attitude but anticipate potential problems and find solutions, so that we will not give up our dreams. The strategic negativism is to anticipate problems and setbacks so that they do not become insurmountable obstacles.
Remember that.