Hi Shan , my friend , I have to say something : First , this is not an illness , I already have it in my mind , from my childhood I always thinking about suicide and death , I remember I asked my mother why you bring us to this world ? , this is a real Important question which people may laugh at me when they read it because they stuck in their stupid world ! , I think these people don't need help , the only one who can help them is themselves , but the problem in here is that people think those who die or do suicide are bad people , and I dont know why people scar of death ? I don't wanna advertise for suicide , it's a thing which no one can reach it easily , it's a point of truth , when you believe it and found the truth , nobody can stop you , I have an uncle and he is in a real bad life and he use much drugs any kind of them but he don't do suicide because this is not for those who use drugs or alcohol , it depends on you , your inside , what you think, I want to show you a truth :
Where did we come from before we born ?
where are we all going ?
Death is the answer to all !
and living this life is like a show , like we are playing roles in a show , and must of people play stupid roles , and nobody even think about it.
but I don't mean to talk with pride , I just want people and you my friend to see this thing from the eyes of those who want to do suicide , I Love to do suicide and finish the shit , but the problem is I care for my parents, I think they will hurt so much , I even think maybe I can do it when they were not in this world , but I tell you again , I don't wanna advertise this to others , this is what I want.
and another thing is that people think if someone did suicide it's because of his problems , work or a girl or something , I tell you that this will work for 20 percent of it but the real thing is from the inside and it's 80%. something a person who do suicide wanted to do it before everyone thought about it !.

and here are some music about the Truth :

what all the people do is : the stupid show must go on ! so do the generation and give birth more , more slaves for 70 to 90 or 100 years life , we take them here and give them a short stupid life and we think we are wise men.

sorry my friend , I don't mean bad to you , I say this to all who think dying sooner than the time is bad , if Cornell and Bennington were alive they could be dead naturally about 20 or 30 years later , what's the problem ? why people want to live 20 or 30 years more ? because they love this stupid world ! we love to lie to ourselves.

Even those politicians who rule this world , they are stupid too. they use people's brain and brainwash them but my question is , for what ? for more lands ? for more oils ? for how many years ? how many years you stupid politician man can be alive ? bringing wars around the world ! killing many people brutally or putting them in jail and torturing them , putting the blame on some other people , calling some people Terrorists and starting a war to killing those people , for what ? what the fuck is this life for ? I told you even politicians are some sick stupid bastards who live for cheapest thing in this world ! if you born in east part of the world , you will understand more truth of the systems , if you born in the Europe or USA , the media close your eyes on everything and put a smile on your face . only small percent of people can understand these things , I mean about the System and their crimes and lies.
Ok my friend , I think I wrote much , but I couldn't tell you these things in one sentence .
wish you luck,
Davood Faramarzi