My awful painting!! - or 'how not to paint in five easy steps'

step one: cop a cruddy "i'm an abysmal failure" attitude.

despite the fact that my photo post yesterday somehow pulled a curie (which i felt totally unworthy of as i can think of twenty other things i curated lately which were insanely better), i decided to follow it with this disaster, because why not?

when i told julia that i made an awful painting, she suggested that i write this as a fail post. uhm.. sure, why not?

this rather than torture myself by trying to write yet another carefully sculpted and vibrantly cheerful, "what miraculous deeds I have accomplished in the two years since I joined this incredible steemit platform!!"

really, i'm just too punk for that. and i feel quite safe posting this late at night so as to save myself from the sheer embarrassment of people noticing it in daylight. plus, i want to see if anyone will comment.

ya i know that's contradictory. i'm certain no one reads my posts, and am often surprised when anyone comments.

step two: tell yourself and everyone else how awful it will be so as to save yourself from disappointment

i dont paint much, so it should come as no shock to you that I am terrible at it.

Once in a blue moon, I get a vision in my head of what I want to do when I paint, yet when i am done it tends to look like one of those failed "nailed it!" memes, the ones with the sunken pink cake mixed with the dregs of satan at a tea party. So tonight when I was depressed about the state of steem, ethics, and feeling like no one cares, I wrote this in helpie chat:

to which the wise carrieallen replied, "do what you want...write what makes you happy!"

Huh.

step three: don't think about what you will need or try to do your best

_{piece of cardboard dabbed with gesso, bunch of old acrylic paint, no water or cloths}

step four: make a ton of mistakes, then paint over them until it looks like someone pooped

And so I went to paint, with ideas in my head about creating something colorful, clever, and artistic, and i remembered being in kindergarten and how i felt so much in touch with my inner artist when i was fingerpainting. Such a fun idea! - but then my fingers gave me this:

_{proof of finger paint}

I did actually enjoy painting with my fingers. I have carpal tunnel, so any attempt to achieve lines where i want them or fine detail with a brush comes to nought.

_{beginning; no clue what im doing, but theres mountains and sunshine}

step five: forget everything you've learned about drawing, colors, perspective and technique

It's at this point that i realize i've forgotten the rule of threes. my mountains overtook the sky and the color chart got forgotten when I realized the sky was green. I'll not torture you with the results.

Suffice to say, the sky had to be painted back in.

_{mountain detail. too much ice - and whats that green swirl on the right?}