One of the basic aspects about the science of parenting is communication. It's indeed a big deal because most parents think they are communicating. For children, words are not just tools for communication, they are for an experience. Let's take an example: telling a child "NO", doesn't always stop the behaviour that is being referenced.
Children are not adults, they can't process why you are saying no, don't, stop.
I perfectly understand that most parents use such words with good intentions, and that's why I am here to channel our intentions properly. Such words activate the brain regions of the Secondary Somatosensory Cortex and the Dorsal Posterior Insula, which interprets it as Rejection or Indifference. Even as adults, not everyone can handle 'NO'.
Don't forget, children don't THINK(the way you do), they FEEL. So, what's the way out? Improve your parenting diction. Instead of using NO, when your child makes a request, share the effect of that request.
Instead of a 'NO', ask the child, 'WHY do you want this/that?'. It doesn't matter the age of the child, the essence is to help them develop their Prefrontal Cortex, (part of the brain responsible for critical reasoning). Instead of using DON'T do that or STOP that, divert his/her energy through a different task.
As much as possible, use less of NO, STOP, DON'T. It will help build the child's self esteem and also help them communicate effectively. Most importantly, it will create a bond of trust between you and your child.
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