Im challenged by this thought of how am I "intentionally" leading my children. Like anything in life, if you set some end goals out in front of you and create a gameplan on how you are going to hit them you are much more likely to hit the mark.
So, what is it that you want for your kids? When your kids leave the house at 18 whats the determinant of if you won as a parent or not?
At the end of the day you can present them with information, education and opportunities in which each kids will respond to and will impact the trajectory of their life. And you absolutely do your best...its hard! But will these things we present to our kids really be the determinant of us raising kids successfully?
As Ive gotten into my 30's, increasing my understanding of who I am, Im shocked at how similar I am to my Dad. Im not talking about personality or vernacular...but how I think, my desire to innovate, my desire to create, my tendency to introspection to a fault...where did I get these? Is it all DNA?
I think the values that we live out of as individual parents are impossible not to translate into our kids. Sure you can do it "intentionally" and increase maybe the percentage of translation. Our kids are apart of our entire lives, when we are aware of it and when we are not. They take in our expressions, demeanor, interactions with others and that frames how they then take on their own challenges, social encounters and decision making process...
If you want to be a successful parent...I think you have to look at yourself. Are you something you want your kid to grow up into? If not why? I'd guess its not because of your vocation or how much money you have. Rather the way you treat people, the way you interact with your spouse or even ex-spouse, the way you talk about your job...
your kids are taking in everything - be something you want them to turn into