I am extremely blessed to be a mother to two children. Two very different children. Us mothers were actually discussing this yesterday at a birthday party that my son attended. I turned around and said, “it always amazes me how you can have two children from the same parents and yet they are completely different.” I mean, seriously just think about that statement for a second. The mix was the same hahaha. So why are they so different? Simple, we are all individuals in the end.
My son, my husband and I have very similar personalities. Our daughter is the complete opposite in every sense of the word. It brings a certain flavor to our family mix that at times is sweet and at times spicy. In fact, a lot of the time it’s more like extra spicy. It’s always fascinated me how completely different her personality is compared to the rest of us.
She lives her life to her own beat. She runs around the house dancing and making up her own songs. She climbs to the top of the washing line pole like a monkey. She’s fearless and couldn’t care less if she is creating chaos as she jumps from one thing to another. Our biggest challenge as her parents is to try and raise her without destroying her strong, independent and free spirit personality. This is a different challenge all together. How do you raise a child that is challenging you in almost every situation? The simple answer? Chocolate hahaha.
Jokes aside. I’ve just found a mixture of “pick your battles,” and “non-reactive parenting,” has worked the best for me. As a parent you really can’t win them all. I learnt this very early on where she was concerned. I remember one particular day very well. She was still a newborn and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t get her to sleep unless she was in my arms. I bought slings, every type of dummy known to man and tried various different methods of rocking her to sleep. NOTHING WORKED. One morning I eventually just looked at her, lay down on the couch and that is what we did every day while I was on maternity leave. I felt completely useless but at least she was sleeping. She was sleeping and I wasn’t driving myself mad trying to figure out how to get her to stay asleep after I put her down.
The non-reactive parenting approach happened after she got older and started fighting back. I quickly realized that screaming and shouting wasn’t doing anything other than make the situation more explosive. Sure, I still have my days and anyone that knows her well will understand why this is the case. She is extremely good at pushing a person to, “that point.” Immediately after the dual shouting match is over I realize how she managed to best me again. Thankfully my husband normally jumps in around this time and things quickly settle down again. It’s something that my husband and I are extremely blessed to have. We jump in immediately when we can see that one of us is not coping. It’s this balance that has helped us both deal with challenging situations in a calmer manner.
In the end she’s feisty and determined, as was I when I was younger. I love her for that. I love how she flows with the flow and isn’t concerned with this or that. It’s an incredibly important thing for a woman to have. She will need this one day when she is older and I’ll be damned if I’m the one to break her spirit and take that away from her.
Thank you for reading and remember to keep smiling 😊
Photo was taken by me 😊, with my Samsung Galaxy S8.
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