Welcome to my new life - my daughter is inexorably becoming a pain in the ass. Um, no. A teen. She's becoming a teen.
My beautiful daughter has recently turned ten. She's rapidly going through changes that I've experienced way later in time, when I was 12, 14 and so on.
I have been shocked to watch her become bitchy, stubbornly unresponsive, moody and snappy (is that a word??). She keeps doing everything in her power and knowledge to get on my nerves.
The time we spend together is unpredictable now. Sometimes she keeps being the sweet, loving child I used to be familiar with. We play, laugh and do stuff together.
Other times she is defiant, she turns into this whole NO - in capitals, bold, full black typeface.
This morning - on a Monday, no less! - she wouldn't get out of bed.
Then she wouldn't get out of her pj's and into her daytime clothes.
I went to fix her lunchbox - a sandwich, a tangerine and her bottle of still water.
I come back into the livingroom and I see her with a sock in one hand, and daydreaming about heavens know what, when we only had about 10 minutes to leave the house.
Nothing really unusual about that, right? Kids do that from day one of kindergarden. I know.
Here I am, telling her one more time what to do:
-- Put your socks on, fast, 'cos we're gonna be late for school.
--Now, Sabina!!
...I get a grumbling reaction and finally, the socks are on.
-- Go brush your teeth. Comb your hair.
-- I will brush my teeth at school. I won't comb my hair!
(she is glued to the couch)
I lose my patience as I watch the clock.
-- Sabina, move your butt, now!!!
...She deigns to move = she brushes her teeth while grumbling and finishes dressing.
She still refuses to comb her hair - which is fine with me, less wasted time.
As she puts her boots on, she yells at me:
-- I don't want to live here anymore! I will move out next summer!
-- Yeah?! And how will you manage by yourself? You don't do anything without being told, like a hundred times!
A short silence, then:
--I will get out of here! I am fed up!
Oh, the impertinence!! The momster trully awakens, breathing fire:
-- Oh baby, I am fed up too! I am so fed up with having to yell at you to get you to do anything! I am fed up with you being an asshole!
...Silence. My daughter is impressed by my moment of truth, both by the message and the way I deliver it - an impressive (yet non aggressive) emotional outburst. Piece of cake for me, since I've been in her shoes long time ago and I can retaliate with lots of drama if required. I am so badass.
As our mini-fight goes, we've already left the house and we're walking towards school. We live nearby so it only takes us about five minutes to get there.
My daughter thinks so intensely, I can feel it. She's having a dilemma: her independence streak grows strong in her, yet she still needs me. Not to mention, she loves me. What to do?...
Sabina has become a teen. My queendom undergoes heavy changes. I predict (seemingly endless) years of emotional turmoil and appropriate fits. I am steeling myself and, as I turn into an unbreakable heroine, I say: BRING IT ON.
I'm not going to be the reasonable adult. My daughter clearly has lots of drama to share, so I have to keep up with her. I have to put on my drama queen dress and act the part. It's the only way I might get her to listen.
I know I am boring her with stupid requests as "Brush your teeth" or "Please put your shoes on faster than a sleeping snail". She prefers daydreaming while listening to love songs (yep). She is interested in purses, shoes, girlie outfits. She wants straight hair instead of curly (she has lovely, curly hair).
So I've decided - for my sanity - I have to start performing. I will be the Queen of Hearts - "Off with their heads!"
Now, I am enjoying the silence - while sipping strong, black coffee. Getting ready to tango.
[photo credit: memegenerator.net]