Everytime Trevor speaks with his parents, I hold my breath, so that I dont catch the palpable tension in the air. He says he feels a twinge in his heart during those conversations, but from the look on his face, I think it's more like a gun drill working it's way through. Some debts are seemingly so huge that they're no longer payable, and if your creditors, continously hold it over your head, then you're as screwed as a nut. That is why parents are reigning champions in the game of emotional blackmail.
Parenthood is as blissful as it is maddening, it is so indulgent that at some point during the journey, parents forget that their children aren't really theirs. It is that misplaced sense of ownership that inspires the planning, direction, and control of the child's life, and more often than not, they do not know when to step down from the managerial position. Usually when their growing child realises that they deserve a sit at the table that governs their life, the battle for supremacy begins.
In the game of thrones that ensues, there are almost no rules. Cards of speeches and manipulation are played by the parents, and if those fail to work, force is employed. The child often does not have a lot of cards, and would play the good old show of rebellion, which doesn't work as much as it should. Being the veteran players, the parents do not play all their cards during that intermediate stage, they save the blackmail card of "after everything I've done for you" for when their offspring attains some form of maturity. That trick is old and dirty, but it works, so they get to pick what college will be attended, what course would be majored in, what GPA should be worked for, what firm should be considered for a career, the kind of family your partner should come from, when they want their grandkids, I could go on, but the sun is coming up, and I gotta go to work.
Admittedly, some parents do everything for their kids, but their motive has to be brought under a microscope. Are these deeds birthed from love? Could it be the sense of responsibility? Are they making an investment which they hope to reap from? Maybe it's a combination of all three, and as funny as it sounds, you'll see that it is unhealthy when you really think about it. If a parent's motive for parenting is love and responsibility, then why do they go out of their way to make the child feel like they're forever indebted to them for doing their job? why do parents have to make the child feel like an investment that didn't yield profit, if they didn't grow up in accordance with their wishes? why does Trevor pretend to be someone he's not, because he doesn't want to let his parents down? why do his parents remind him at every chance they get, that they gave up their dreams so that he could pursue the dreams they crafted for him? Why is he living his parent's life instead of his?
Maybe we are supposed to have a certain obligation to our parents in our adulthood, and maybe we owe them for doing the job of parenting. If you say we do, how much do we really owe? Is it payable? Should they want payment for doing the job of parenting?
Lucent Otto (Britex).