Someone once said words to the effect that no person on their deathbed would ever wish they had spent more time at the office rather than with their family. Those words have bounced around in my head for more than a year but I've seen them play out more clearly in my life recently. I don't work in an office but I'm easily sidetracked but pointless distractions when I could be spending time with my children. As a father, I have only a few limited years to make a purposeful impact in my children's lives. However, my hobbies such as World of Warcraft and watching movies will always be there. I need to live my life in such a way that I don't become that person laying on their deathbed, wishing they'd made better choices relating to their children.
Just yesterday my daughter Laylah who is thirteen months old was playing on the coloured alphabet mat near my computer desk. I was playing World of Warcraft and enthralled in a quest that could have easily waited 'til my babies were in bed later that night. Laylah actually walked up to my chair and placed her hands on the armrest as she looked up at me. I smiled at her and said, 'Hello' but I only really wanted my daughter to play by herself so I could focus on WoW. A few moments later, Laylah sat down on the floor beside my chair and began playing with another toy. I continued with my WoW quest and didn't end up playing with my daughter.
It was only later that night that I thought about the possible reality that one-day Laylah would be the one too busy for me and I'd be calling or texting without gaining her attention. Throughout my day at work this thought kept flooding into my mind. I also thought of my son Deedrick and how he too would be older soon and no longer chasing after me for attention. I had a moment where I realised more clearly just what special gifts my children are in my life. WoW will always be there waiting patiently for me. However, my children are growing so fast before my eyes. I have to be purposeful in denying some of my legitimate wants at times in order to invest in them. I have no doubt the love I show will be returned in the years to come.
So today when I got home and opened the door, my daughter came waddling toward me with the biggest smile on her face. I picked Laylah up and kissed her again and again. I told her how much I missed her and loved her. I played with her and laughed as I looked into her big brown eyes. Shortly after this, I had to collect my son from daycare. When I arrived, Deedrick ran up to me and I picked him up for a cuddle. I asked him how his day went, we packed up his gear and then I gave him a little lolly treat when we got to the car. I had to get petrol from the service station and all of the cars made Deedrick nervous. I ended up holding him in my arms and when I tried to put him down, he clamped around my torso tighter so I held him the entire time. I saw how my son views me as his protector and I wanted him to know he'll always have the love and care of his father.
I'm so thankful that I'm seeing how important it is to truly invest in my children. I'd hate to see this once they're too big to care about things like this. They're the ones running toward me right now but that'll change one day. It'll be the love and I show them now that forms a bond that keeps us close as the years pass. At the same time, I feel it's important not to say hobbies are bad and all of a parents free time should be spent with their children. However, I do believe a parent can tell when they're neglecting their children for selfish reasons. It's in those moments that we have to make the right decision and choose to be there for our kids and let our hobby fall by the wayside momentarily.
Therefore, I'd like to encourage any parents who might read this post to reassess how they spend their spare time. Are there afternoons where you're like me and choose to entertain your own hobbies when your children clearly want you instead? Could you make some better decisions which grow into habits that shape the futures of your kids? These thoughts can seem purely philosophical if we let them. However, in truth, they have very real and practical consequences. If we choose the love that demonstrates itself in action then we'll have memories of laughing together, drawing sunsets, baking cookies, riding bikes, singing songs and perhaps even occasionally weeping. Those memories will all unite into a lifetime of love and devotion.
