As a father of three beautiful children who all have completely different personalities I have had to learn different ways to deal with each child. One child will respond very well to one technique while another ignores that one completely or like in my daughter’s case it just doesn’t affect her not matter what. I am a father of three, two boys 4 and my daughter who is 7. I along with my wife have had full custody of our children since my 4-year-old was 6 months old (bad divorce on my part).
#1 Love and nurture, not coddle. Loving you child is something that should come naturally. As a father I often find that my form of love is different than what my wife’s form of love is. Not that we have a different love just that it is perceived differently. I nurture my children just like my wife does and I find that neither of us coddle them. We show them that we love them without being overbearing and over loving. Children need to know that they are loved however, if the love is to much they tend have separation issues along with dependency issues.
#2 Do not believe they are perfect. I know you love you child… however they are not a perfect little angle. They do horrible things and act like but heads on a regular basis even if you do not see or believe it. If your child does something bad acknowledge that they are bad. The most annoying thing is when someone blames their gender or age on a bad behavior. For example, my sister’s daughter is a terror. She destroys everything she gets her hands on, she is 3. My sister has the same excuse for her daughter’s behavior “She is only 3” which drives me crazy because my children knew better than to tear up things at 3.
#3 Teach them manners. All my children will respect adults weather they are related to them or not. I could care less weather the adult is right or wrong my children will speak to them with respect. Having a good sense of manners will allow a child to succeed in school and at home. In public they are not a distraction if they know how to utilize their please, thankyou and yes sir’s and ma’am’s. I have never once had to apologies for my children’s actions in public because they know if they misbehave or are rude they will be disciplined right then and there.
#4 You are not their friend. The number one mistake with children that I have seen is that the parent tries to be their friend. You are the parent, it is your job to punish, protect and reward your child for their behavior.
#5 Discipline dose not meant beat. Different children respond to different forms of discipline. With one of m children taking away a spider-man costume for a week is worse than getting a spanking. For my middle child speaking in a mean tone is enough to correct the action. For my oldest child nothing seems to work except for a firm spanking on the butt. Otherwise she could care less. Taking things away putting her in time out or even grounding her has no recourse. None of the above things matter to her except for a spanking. Spanking your child does not mean beating. Never spank your child if you are mad or upset. Do not allow your emotion to take control of the discipline. Go into a spanking with the number of spankings they will receive and do not go above that. In general, up to the age of 5, my children get a spanking for each year old that they are.
Once again keep in mind the golden rule and trust that you are doing your best.