Obviously I like to see myself as a superhero. That's why I'm the solar super mama. I was really lucky to be home with my mom when I was little. I imagine that's part of what helped me to realize how important parenting is. Even after she went back to work, my mom was always really devoted to us and involved in our lives.
Me and my mama
I figured growing up I would have a big career because I did really well in school, but when I had that sweet, little baby, I knew Mama was all I wanted to do. As time crawled on, I realized how tuned-in that instinct was. I realized that raising a child requires a lot of careful attention and intention, particularly if you care about the outcome. I know not everyone is lucky enough to be able to choose that path. I also know not everyone wants to be home with their kids. It's hard.
I think it's important, though, to recognize how crucial this task is and how putting good and sufficient energy into parenting is radical and revolutionary and, dare I say, could even put us on an infinitely better path as a species. You need only look around at the abundance of humans walking around with little compassion or capacity for problem solving or drive or ability to manage their emotions or respect for self or others or boundaries or common sense or passion, to realize parenting is not valued by our society.
It's really kind of crazy that we have these kids and then hand them to people we barely know for the majority of their waking hours. That's madness. Doesn't it make so much more sense for someone close to the parents and the children to assist them through the amazingly challenging process of becoming a grown up? It's really hard. That's why there's a lot of people who aren't grown even though they're supposed to be. Wouldn't we, in the long term, benefit from making it financially feasible for someone close to the child to stay with the child? At least for the first five years. Wouldn't we save in health care? Juvenile justice? What else?
When I hear teachers or psychologists talk about mainstream kids, I'm always so shocked because my kids and the kids of most of my friends are really amazing. They're brilliant and independent and confident and kind and respectful. I think that's what happens when you put time and energy and love in. It's not easy. We've given up some material things. And some days are just shit. Today was a damn train wreck of a day, but that's because helping someone grow into an awesome person is a lot of work. It's hard for them to learn to control their impulses. Some days the energy is just frenetic, and that's the way it is, but we help them learn and grow with as much compassion as we can muster, and those kids turn out pretty good.
So far, so good
Like I said, I know this option isn't available to everyone. I know being able to do this is part of my privilege. But I believe everyone can put a lot of time and thought into who their children are around. If you can't unschool or homeschool, seek out alternative options with teachers you share values with. Spend as much time with your kids after work as you can. Ask lots of questions. Be involved in their lives. And as a society we need to understand this is a harder task in certain areas and situations. We need to find a way to support families in supporting their kids. Revolution must be accessible to all to succeed.
Another revolutionary thing we must teach our kids
Connected parenting is radical. It is revolutionary. And it needs to be a big piece of how we change the world. There can be no movement that doesn't include significant thought about raising children. And that means valuing those who are caring for them.
Pictures are mine and pixabay