My oldest child lives in the US. It's hard because we have always been very close. When he came to visit last week, I hadn't seen him in almost a year. It's hard on him too. He misses me, but he misses his siblings terribly. So, we waited for him to get here to go see Star Wars. Not surprisingly, there aren't a lot of movie theaters in Belize, so we have to go quite a ways and stay the night for this adventure. It's a bit of a production.
Needless to say we are throwing down a chunk of change. Don't get me wrong, Star Wars is worth it. No it wasn't the best Star Wars movie ever, but it was good, and even the worst one is worth seeing in a theater. And I can let go of my expectations that every Star Wars movie be as good as Empire or Rogue One. So, why do I do that ridiculous thing with my children where I expect them to have this glorious adventure and that every moment be something out of a happy Disney movie? Do you do that too? Please tell me I'm not the only one. I'm not even talking about gratitude. I learned long ago, if you're in it for the gratitude, parenting is the wrong path for you.
Going to see Star Wars
I think it's even beyond parenting. Why do I have this idea that things always have to be happy and easy to be perfect? The truth is that things are always perfect. They don't have to be happy. We don't have to all always get along for us to have a wonderful time.
Maybe it will make more sense if I share what happened. After Star Wars, the older two, who are 19 and 15, I might add, start fighting about the movie and what happened and what should have happened. It started innocent enough, but it got ugly pretty quickly. The Internet at the guest house wasn't working right, so the younger two started whining, and then one went full-on meltdown. That's when I got pissy. Did I really just throw down all this money for you to all be a bunch of wankers? Really? For real, how are we going to go to the UK when I can't even take y'all to Belize City.
It's crazy that we have this Hollywood idea of how life should go or that the ideal life is somehow without hiccups. Honestly, our trip was amazing. Going to see Star Wars was awesome. We found a sweet place to stay, and it was really nice and quiet. One little hiccup does not ruin the whole thing. Seriously. Am I a drama queen, or do y'all get this way too? Can't life be imperfectly perfect? Or perfectly imperfect?
Training Young Ones in the Ways of the Force
So then came Christmas. The presents I ordered didn't arrive in time. I still can't put hands on my crypto without obnoxious fees. The money coming from other people didn't get to me in time. No money for Christmas dinner. Yada, yada, yada. Know what? It was fine. Kids had a blast playing with all the stuff they got, and they're excited to have more coming. It was nice to not have to cook all day. It was nice to play with the kids and all their new stuff. Maybe we can let things be ok just as they are and not feel like we need to mold them into something they aren't. What do you think?
Further, what am I teaching my kids with this attitude? Do I not get irritated with them when they pitch a fit when things don't go exactly as they planned? How much less would we suffer if we didn't fight every little misstep? How am I 42 and just now figuring this out? I'll say this. Being a mama has been the greatest learning experience. It has grown me more than anything else ever has.
Happy Holidays, y'all.