Wow...you're sure trying to say a lot there Dawn. While I agree with the overall idea of individuality. I believe there are limits when it comes to rearing our sons & daughters 'peacefully'. We see all around us the results of my generations failings as mothers and fathers. We were the "Me" generation and we, somewhere along the line, bought into this whole "be your kids best friend" garbage. As a result, our children feel they own us, and they're entitled to anything that makes them feel good, regardless of the means of acquisition, or the consequences. I see moms & dads my age running around acting like their kids, not the other way around. Vocabularies no better than high schoolers. A reluctance, or down right refusal to use ANY form of discipline, correction (or whatever the buzz word of the day is), when necessary, and just expecting those around them to accept them as precious kids and get out of their way. No offense meant here, but we grew up learning the golden rule from my father's generation who lived it and fought a 2nd world war based on that rule. Our folks understood that no matter HOW independent you want your 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, etc, yr old to be, the FACT of the matter is, they're NOT independent AT ALL, mentally OR physically. They are completely dependent on the family, and the family on itself. In fact, it is the moral obligation of both mom and dad, to honor their responsibility of rearing respectful, responsible, intelligent, strong, and confident adults. Not grown up kids, but adults. Our kids are not meant to be raised, they're not animals. We don't throw them in a pasture and say "Oh they'll be fine". We see the direction we feel is best for them based on our beliefs, and we pave their way. That is our responsibility as their mothers and fathers. Consequences were lessons learned early and depending on our density, often lol. My point is this, I believe we do our progeny, and the world we shape for them to inherit, an enormous injustice by thinking they are more capable than they are during their early and formative years. To treat them otherwise, is also tremendously irresponsible on the part of us 'intelligent' adults. Should we love our kids? Obviously and absolutely. Should we ONLY deal with them coming from a place of love? Again, obviously and absolutely. But if we fail to acknowledge that love comes in many forms from our folks, for many reasons, we are attempting to short circuit a crucial part of the necessary relationship kids need with their folks, to become fully functioning, rational, loving and respectful adults. Attaining the age of majority is something that's earned, not assumed, and something we are sorely lacking and in need of today to bring about a peaceful, loving society, environment and planet. But we can't show them the way if we're not there ourselves. Again, I understand the need for our kids to be free and independent, I get that, but not by way of political correctness and fear, but by way of loving, strong mothers and fathers who fear spoiling the child by sparing the rod.