Parents who are proud of their financial failures?
How sick of a mindset is that?
Recently I visited my mother due to a medical procedure she had done. The procedure was quick, and she was sent home the very next day. As usual, I practiced the hypothetical with her, to make sure she is always prepared for the unexpected.
If I, nor any of our family members could come or assist her, what contention plan does she have, I asked. We had had this conversation before; rather it be for medical van transportation, after care assistance, savings in case insurance does not cover something, etc. All the possible hypotheticals.
With the most idiotic smirk on her face, she responds, “If I couldn’t call you or get help from you, I would just be stuck.
I won’t worry about it,” she laughed with a continued smirk.
Are you laughing? You lazy, unprepared bum!
Yes, I thought this, but I didn’t dare say this to her face.
This is an "educated" woman, who prided herself on being an independent, free-loving flower child, during its hey-day. She enjoyed the early 80’s Miami scene to the fullest. She never met a club, disco or after-party spot between Coconut Grove &
Ft Lauderdale Beach that she didn’t like.
At some point, every party ends, the music stops and everyone must go home and deal with reality and responsibilities. Especially financial responsibilities.
Fast forward a few weeks Iater after returning from my trip. I’m speaking to my dad on the phone.
While going over our usual topics of family, church, hurricane season and sports, the conversation then took a slight turn. Somehow, we ended up discussing a recent death of a family friend.
“Dad, I could just imagine the expenses their families have to take care of. My goodness”
In a very flippant tone, he responded, “Well I don’t have to worry about any of that ‘cause I know your aunt and everybody will take care of it all. I don’t have anything, but I know it’ll work out somehow.”
I could just hear the pride, yet lack of concern oozing from his lips. His southern drawl emphasizing “all.”
You never paid a dime of CS for me, so you’ve had pleeeeenty of opportunity over the decades to prepare and save.
Again, I dare not say it out loud.
Since when did having a savings, along with life insurance (or at least pre-paid funeral plan) become such bad a thing?
A few days later, my mom calls, “Hi, honey, could you send me $100”
“Excuse me? I just gave you $350,” I responded.
“Don’t ask me what it’s for. Just send it, I need it,” she demands with even more volume and persistency in her voice.
“Yeah, but I need it even more, that’s why I SAVED IT, I responded.”
MC Hammer anybody?
I don’t care who they are and what their age is. They are never too old to learn. Sorry mom and dad, but you cannot:
-Ignore warning and preparing your children for their financial future
-Live vicariously through your children’s successes and resources
-Assume you don’t have to prepare for your future, regardless of who is/is not around
-Stop saving or preparing for the unexpected
-Put your life in the hands of your children, siblings, and other loved ones
Also, is it me or do some parents/family elders strategically not want to warn their younger loved ones about their financial past and mistakes? Perhaps, hoping that the children won’t out do them?
While still expecting their children to succeed financially, expecting some sort of magical trickle-down effect.
Hypocritical much?
While growing up, I don’t remember being warned by either one of them, about the danger of school loans;
The high school I attended did not educate students on this either.
I don’t remember being taught about the responsibility of credit card usage, and the rabbit hole of variable APR’s, minimum payment requirements, late fees and credit profile impact. None of these important lessons came until undergrad, and of course by then, damage had already been done.
Who in their right mind wants to make financial errors and do absolutely nothing about it?
My parents.
Nonchalant and downright proud of not correcting, planning, nor saving.
And have absolutely no intention on trying and rectifying their own financial situations.
And proud of it. Unbelievable.
What about you? Are you experiencing anything relative to this with your loved ones?
I look forward to the responses and comments!!
C Geni
August 14, 2017