It is currently 02:44 GMT in the morning. Our youngest (less than a year) doesnt want to go to sleep. We have been battling for only an hour and a half (taking turns with my wife to calm my youngest down and put her to sleep), so it doesn't feel too bad but how my mind and body tries to play me to crave for sleep is growing stronger. This means being more impatient and losing the calm collective coolness that parents should try and have in this scenario.
We normally play the "cry it out" method, and for those who don't know this, it is literally letting your baby scream their head off for 10 mins then going in there supposedly for 2 mins and try calm them down. For us though, we really get bad "parent guilt" so we end up being in there for 10-20 mins, quick time "cuddle n rock" then try to pat them and shushing sounds when they down.
A few things that I try to keep practicing like a mantra when I go through these phases:
breathe slowly and remain calm. A baby doesn't need you panicking, when they are already annoyed about something else.
treat it like war, be logical with your method (either cry it out or be super attentive and be there with your baby when they wake up or co-sleep!). Each method has their own ups and downs but never forget the long term result and what your goals are. Mine was I want my kids to go to sleep in the evening and have a good night rest till they wake up and be independent to sleep in their own room. This helps them grow and also gives us dads a chance to show the romantic side to the missus once in a while!
for those doing the cry it put method - something which I found is that both parents cannot be the "soft one" when dealing with night time cries. One of you will have to be the bad cop and suggest a cry it out and stick to their guns. Do not give up in midst of it because your baby is crying really bad, if you know they have been water and fed properly, you know they have not done a poo, you know they are not ill (check their temp) and you know they are not teething (give bonjela or something to remove this variable) then afterwards you are in the war of over tiredness or under tiredness or just them wanting attention. One of you needs to call the shot to try different things and experiment for the benefit of your child to go to sleep.
be nice to the better half when it comes to a midnight wake up call. Mainly looking at the lads who have told me in the past that they pretend to be asleep when their kid wakes up so they don't have to try put them to sleep - but harsh isn't it! Take turns, don't worry about your sleep being out of routine because like I always tell myself to make me feel better "sleep is for the weak" (I cry a little saying this but try to stay strong that I'll get sleep another time). Look out for each other and if one is being pushed to the edge, have them take a break and take over to help have your baby put to sleep. A baby will have a better chance of falling asleep if the person putting them to sleep is calm and relaxed.
lastly, live in the present moment and never in the past. You may find yourselves saying "this method used to work before- what happened?!" In the end babies grow, and so must you with your methods. If you want them to crawl, speak, have different foods and want them to explore, then expect their sleep behaviour to make changes too. Just be easy going, and know that your kid will fall asleep eventually and keep positive.
Now that my kid has finally gone sleep (my wife is amazing at calming her down), I'm going to take the opportunity and get some sleep till my eldest kid decides to give us our normal 7am wake up call - which is actually quite lovely to wake up to. Have a good night people.
Cheers.