How to get out of depression after breaking up? This question is faced by those who have recently lost their soul mate. A certain chain of events leads to the end of the relationship. The person experiences melancholy, apathy, internal discomfort. The soul suffers from attachment to a person who irrevocably disappears from life. Next, we will figure out how to continue to live and build new relationships.
Depression after breaking up: what is it
Alcohol, tobacco and drug addiction are known to everyone. By analogy with them, there is a dependence in relation to a loved one. Fear of loss is comparable to death. To get rid of a state of oppressed feeling, you need a strong desire, a desire to achieve a result and an unwavering will.
Dealing with depression after breaking up is difficult, but possible. As soon as the awareness of the need to be with someone comes, to show love and care, an understanding of oneself will appear. It is important to start with the realization that to love and be loved is a basic human need.
If a woman who loves her man disappears from the life of a woman or the opposite situation occurs, then consciousness does not believe in the event to the last. It tries to live in the past or moves in the present tense with great difficulty. Pleasant and joyful memories fall into the category of unbearable thoughts, sometimes they immerse a person in a state of depression. As soon as the pain rolls with renewed vigor, the situation is even more aggravated. Therefore, it is important to get out of depression as soon as possible after parting.
To exit from a depressive state, you need to deal with its main components, which are part of emotional attachment.
The following stages of this feeling exist:
Attraction.
Love.
Attachment.
Attraction is described as a strong emotion. It relates to both the mental and physical condition of a person. Falling in love means perceiving events in pink, the partner seems the best and perfect. During attachment, a deep and lasting bond is established between two loving people.
Hormones or love
An understanding of how chemicals that affect positive emotions can help relieve depression after breaking up. During falling in love, a person develops endocrine glands. These include endorphins, dopamine and serotonin. Such elements are found in the body of drug addicts. They constantly need the next dose, which helps provoke the release of these substances.
Romantic love usually ends because of biochemistry. The body is simply not able to constantly support the release of a large number of hormones, over time, a strong attraction to a partner becomes less and less.
After about three years, disappointment sets in, love passes, relationships break. Depression can only go away after a person clarifies to himself the essence of chemical processes in the body. The depressive state with this type of separation does not last long. This is confirmed by the statistics of divorces, especially in the early years of family life.
How to get out of depression after breaking up and not be addicted to love? It is important to understand that sad feelings take possession of a person rather than because of a departed partner, but rather because of their state of loneliness, longing. It turns out that the individual for some time loses love. I want them to never end. Usually such a desire is characteristic of egoists. It happens that a loved one or beloved leaves, it’s hard to put up with this.
Disease phases
Depression after parting with a partner all has approximately the same scenario. The stages of the disorder are sequentially included. After a period of separation, five phases occur:
Shock, numbness, denial.
Resentment, bitterness, aggression.
Attempts at reconciliation.
Apathy and depression.
Awareness, acceptance and adaptation.
During the phase of shock and numbness, the first response occurs when the partner has left. The person denies such an event. Usually this happens when the gap is unexpected, without good reason. It is difficult to realize the choice of a partner and accept it. The abandoned spouse still has the illusion that relations can be restored.
Consciousness does not want to accept the fact of a break. The brain triggers a defensive reaction. A person does not think about how to get out of depression after parting. He is trying to regain his soulmate. These are protective mechanisms in stressful situations.
Sometimes a divorce is planned, mutual, but the couple still do not accept the fact that they are no longer partners, and do not have a common future. The difficulty is awareness at the psyche level, she lives on past events. The shock can last several months or years, this adversely affects the physical and mental health of the individual.In the second phase, when resentment and bitterness arise, a person begins to realize the gap. Here, the former partner is seen as a tyrant who caused pain, delivered mental anguish. It seems that getting rid of depression after breaking up will help revenge. Sometimes you want to take revenge by blood. This is how the instinct of self-preservation, laid down at the genetic level, works. If you need to survive, then it is better to attack first.
As soon as the peak of emotional tension is reached, aggression spills over. There may be flashes of rage that are difficult to control. Partners are constantly quarreling, are constantly in the process of clarifying the relationship. Children are being manipulated, relatives are involved in the disassembly.
The following is an attempt at reconciliation. This is the most difficult period. A person is affected by negative emotions. Useful neurotransmitters are almost at zero, the brain wants to compensate for the deficiency of hormones of happiness (dopamine and serotonin). Partners most often seek to resurrect already dying feelings.
Apathy and depression is the longest and at the same time dangerous stage. Some people go through it for years. If there were several attempts to return a loved one, then there is a severe depression after parting. The main question is how to survive this period.
Loneliness is especially acute, there is indifference to everything that happens around. There is a sense of worthlessness and uselessness. It is important not to get stuck in this state. The spleen easily transforms into a deep depression, from which it is subsequently difficult to get out without outside help.
It seems to man that life is a continuous pain, there is no longer any sense in existence, the individual is constantly sad. At times, despair rolls over, the desire not to see anyone else, including himself. Here you need a comprehensive psychotherapeutic and drug treatment.
In the final phase of awareness and acceptance, a person begins to adapt to new circumstances. The main thing is to accept the changes as a fait accompli, which cannot be changed. The person no longer wants to raise his personal history, there is no point in analyzing the events that led to the gap. Separation is another step for the formation and development of oneself, a new experience.
At one point, a person may have a sharp motivation to act, to win, to master new skills. It is an incentive to create future happy moments. Hidden reserves of the body help not to get depressed after parting. As soon as the fifth phase begins, the person feels a surge of energy for a new relationship.
Each of the described phases depends on a number of factors:
Individual character trait.
Level of self-esteem.
The state of the nervous system.
The threshold of stress susceptibility.
An important role is also played by the reason for the separation, the age category of each partner, the need to resolve property disputes and children's lives, the importance of lifestyle after a divorce or breakup. Please note that support from loved ones and relatives has a positive effect.
Symptoms of Depression
How to get out of depression after breaking up? First of all, you need to recognize its presence and find out the main symptoms. The leading signs that may indicate a pathology are:
depressed mood;
a sharp decrease in the level of performance;
desire to stay alone;
lack of interest in life;
pessimistic attitude to the present and future;
self-destruction;
thoughts about death; suicide attempts;
excessive and unreasonable attention to one's own health.
In addition, it is important to pay attention to symptoms such as a change in eating habits, difficulty concentrating, insomnia and sleep disturbance, and intermittence.
When answering the question of how to get out of depression after breaking up, you need to consider the problems in the formation of alcohol and drug addiction. For some, the decision is to use psychotropic drugs, which is harmful to physical and mental health, causes longing, mental pain.
How to survive a depressed state
First of all, do not be discouraged, as this harms the psyche, which affects all areas of life. No need to give slack, slide into depression, there is a way out of any situations.
Psychologists recommend the following steps:
Unleash emotions. If necessary, scream, cry, let off steam. This is how depression can be overcome after parting. As soon as the negative emotions are over, the mood will improve. No need to keep anger and resentment.
To be distracted, as far as possible, from hopes and thoughts regarding the future with a loved one who cannot be returned in practice. Such thinking will not lead to anything good. Instead, the person runs the risk of getting depressed.
Do not fence yourself off from the world around you. It is important to continue to do everyday business as if nothing had happened. So you can escape from thoughts that constantly oppress.
If there is such a need, it is better to change something in life. It is allowed to change hairstyles, clothes, place of residence, work, friends - all that makes a person happy, gives the feeling of a new page.
Psychologists recommend going on a long trip. At a minimum, they offer to take a week off and go to a warm country. There is no better cure for how to get out of depression after breaking up, except to travel.
Good deed is another way to get positive emotions. For example, experts advise finding a shelter for a homeless animal or going to a charity evening.
The best solution is to simply let go of the situation and forget the person. There is no need to hate him, as this drains, does not give a positive and constructive development. Attempts to return a lover or lover in most cases lead to nothing. The departed must be let go in order to overcome depression after breaking up.
It is important to continue moving forward, in no case to focus on events from the past. There are still many happy moments ahead.
Each individual has his own reaction to breaking up with a partner. There are common, most commonly manifested symptoms:
activation of old phobias;
manifestation of irrational fears;
suicidal thoughts;
fast fatiguability;
loss of the meaning of life.
One or more signs indicate that the person overcomes longing and spleen. How to get out of depression after breaking up? Accept and understand the fact of the breakdown of relations, their irrevocability, try to build a new, more successful and happy union.
In some situations, a person cannot do without additional help. This is especially true for moments when he seeks to take his own life, suffers from serious nervous disorders. At a minimum, you should ask for support from relatives and friends. It is recommended that you visit a psychologist or psychotherapist if possible. Before getting rid of a problem, it is important to acknowledge its presence.