Since today is Valentines day, I'd love to share how I met my husband.
You may have read in my Intro post that I met him abroad...well, this is the more detailed story:
Background
My relationship with the opposite sex started when I was still in Highschool. I was maybe fourteen (14) that time. It was the time where "Textmate" was widely known to teenagers. As an only child with no physical presence of a father, I longed for someone who would take care of me aside from of course, my mom. I know it was too early but what can I do? My aunt, Aiza taught me how to look for a boyfriend.
Boyfriend and Boyfriends
When I started my first relationship, I will not break up with the guy if he has no replacement. In short, I was never single for a long time. This continued until I met this one guy in our Church. I was fourth year high school that time He was so kind and I abused his kindness. I took it for granted, had another relationship aside from him...and man, that was really bad. I got guilty and broke up with both. He was my "TOTGA" (The one that got away--or rather, the one I let go" but of course, another one came.
I just can't go back
Fred- not his real name, was my college boyfriend. We were in a relationship for four years and on those years, finding someone to replace him was hard. Of course, I am not that pretty like other city girls. Hahaha! I stayed in that relationship where I was lied to constantly. It was toxic but I was so scared of losing my male-figure. I felt like I cannot live being single anymore. I was very afraid not having someone to depend on...someone I can call when I need comfort (coz of course, I cannot tell mom everything right?) I was seventeen(17)!
So the lying continued till I graduated and started to work in this Hotel. I was a housekeeper and a Linen attendant. I also handle students having their On-the-Job training and I met this boy...my escape from the toxic relationship I had. I was so relieved. After four years, I finally broke up with Fred and had a relationship with Inton - Just his nick name.
Almost a happy ending?
Inton's family is in Canada. His mom, upon knowing my relationship with his son, constantly chats with me, telling me their plans in life where I was included. So the plan was, Inton will stay in Canada and after sometime, I will follow. I was happy then. The only problem was, Inton is alcoholic. I never thought about it being a problem before because I was so in love. All the red flags seemed to be invisible.
After his OJT, he went back to his hometown, which was a 6-hour away from where I was. We were in a long distance relationship. When he finally graduated college, we met for a little while and he left for Canada. He worked and we agreed on our schedules on when to call and talk to each other. It was night time on my side while in his, it was day time. I would wake up every 3 am just to wait for his call, talk to him for a while and sleep again. I would constantly wait for his messages. Gosh I was that naive.
Then came a time where his addiction to alcohol became a hindrance to our communication. Sometimes he wouldn't call because he was drunk. I get mad during those times and on our fourth month, He got tired of me asking him to stop drinking alcohol (maybe).
Here comes the hardest part
On our fourth month, He stopped communicating with me. Totally. It felt like torture. He reads my messages but never replies. I was still in the part where I am madly in love but this is what he did. I don't know if "Ghosting" is the right term but I was hurt. I would curl up in my bed, cry and it came to the point where I couldn't eat. I was depressed.
Moving forward
After days of being on that depressed state, I found a courage to get back up again. This was because of mom who stayed with me and helped me move forward. It was also this time where I was hired abroad. I went to Taiwan and started a new life where I became rude to men. I stopped talking to men, avoiding them, and not even looking into their eyes. I worked really hard just to forget the pain. It took me another few months to fully gain myself back. It was my first time being single that long since High school.
The Unexpected Twist of My Life
Wanting to earn money, I started 2 part-time jobs. One is cleaning our dorm and the other one is serving food in a small canteen. It was by this time where I started talking to men normally since I was assigned in the frontline jobs. Men in Taiwan would normally court other new comers whether they are married or not that is why I don't usually accept friend requests from them but this one guy, Jake...he stayed in my friend request list for 6 days. I didn't we've crossed ways before in our dorm. I accepted his request. I have stayed single for 7 months...on those months, I learned how to love myself. Our chats became calls, until he introduced me to his friends. I was then ready to be in a relationship. I hoped and prayed that this would be my last.
I forgot the exact date where I answered him Yes but I know it was August of 2017. He is funny, caring and always available for me. He is just amazing and I love every little bit of him.
After four months of our relationship, I got pregnant. I thought he would leave me and I prepared myself for whatever his reaction was. I was ready for the worst but when I told him the news, his face lightened up. I can still clearly remember how he smiled at me and embraced me. I was relieved.
We came home and prepared for our wedding. The little money we earned became our starting point. We got married April 21,2018 and had our first baby on October 3,2018. On November 12,2023 came our second, Both girls and Yes, again, I am BLESSED.
Realizations
Here are the list of things I realized on these events in my life:
Golden rule- We've known this for a long time but yes, the things you did before will have consequences. I cheated and I was cheated on too.
Love yourself genuinely. It may be hard to be alone but it is much better than having someone who hurts you.
God will keep on giving you the same trial until you learn the lesson. You may be wondering why things happen repeatedly. Maybe it's because you were not listening to Him.
God will prepare you for something you deserve.
That is all for today! Hoping everyone's in love!
*If you haven't read my Intro post, please do. :) Thank you and God bless!
(this is us now :) 5 Years Happily Married
