Hello everyone, I hope you are very well, recently I joined the Steemit community, and in my presentation I spoke a bit about my daughter and that she wanted to tell a little about my experience of being a dad, so since promised is debt, I will tell you the story of how he came into the world.
In those days I worked in a laboratory in the city of Caracas, capital of Venezuela, as you know things in this country are not easy and if you do not know or do not believe it, I invite you to check it raw, because of this, it is not exactly in the plans of a being a dad, however, on July 15, 2017, I was surprised with the news that my partner was pregnant.
I always find it curious, that in general the emotion of the news is highlighted. The people who narrate their experiences tend to define the situation as the day or one of the "happiest" days of my life. Lie! Honestly I do not believe them unless they were looking for it, what happens is that socially it is considered "bad" to admit that upon receiving the news (especially men) we do not feel happy, we feel it is TERRIFIED! Beyond the economic or social situation, there are many other factors that concern us.
In fact, I would define that day as the second most frightening day of my life, but why the second? Well, keep reading and you will know. It turns out that these weeks we were dedicated to carrying out tests to confirm pregnancy, however we had not been able to go to the Obstetrician, so we did not have any pregnancy confirmation echogram, until at the beginning of August 2017, my partner was to the consultation accompanied by my mother (for work reasons I could not go) and finally the information was confirmed with an echo, however, said echo came with a small surprise ... they were twins!
That day was the most terrifying of my life! Imagine! I worried about everything that had to have a child and now it turns out that there are two! With a job that did not allow me to live well alone, in a country where there is no guarantee of anything, without housing, without opportunities and with two babies! HAHA! I remember it at this moment and it makes me laugh. Oh! and not satisfied with all this, one has to show integrity and comfort the mother, after all, they carry the bulk of the situation both physically and emotionally, then I wanted to jump off a bridge but I had to be a man xD. It turns out that it was a funny situation, because I was in classes and I went to answer the call, when I came back I interrupted the class and I stayed stunned repeating "are two" obviously the class was dedicated to hear that I was going to be a dad, and I was even given the opportunity to present the evaluation of that day at another time (that would be my face).
Dr. Patxi With Silvana
In order that I resolved the labor and academic issues and dedicated myself to address the issues of pregnancy, I just took my vacation and well, to take care of the belly! The following days we went several times a month to consult, and we always saw the echo, but I was still scared but resigned to that I would have to overcome, but on October 4, I took one of the greatest impressions of my life ... for the first time Once I saw my baby well-defined! Although of course, we still did not know the sex of the baby (it was in that consultation that we confirmed that one of the embryos had been reabsorbed), it was an indescribable feeling to see that baby so alive, fighting kicking! Saying here I am!, It turns out that my wife has a uterine myomatosis, and doctors apart from explaining that she should not have been able to get pregnant, did not give much hope to the baby to be born, so watch her kicking and fighting for her space it really moved me, in fact, even today I am very moved by that image, and since that day everything changed, I really felt an awesome love for my baby.
This is so because, although for women it is difficult to understand, in general, the men do not get very excited about pregnancy at first, not because we do not care, but for us it is not something that is tangible, after all, we do not feel the baby grow inside of us (surely there will be parents who get excited from the first day, but at least it was not my case and many that I met, one gets scared), but the fact is, that is something distant for us, although we do not admit it.
In fact, this is the reason why I consider the participation of the father important in everything related to pregnancy, the idea is to introduce it into the equation so that from the beginning it can be a support not only economic but also emotional for the mother and the baby, it is true that one must look for sustenance, but the family also needs of us and us also needs to feel included. In my case, it was very particular because I was forced to assist my wife in almost everything, because she lived practically alone in Caracas, and I was her only relative, so I had to be very active in that situation, today I appreciate that, because we have a very beautiful bond, especially with our daughter, which seems to be very happy so far.
After this event we started to discuss the issue of names, and we agreed that if I was a girl I would name it and if I was a boy she would name it, it's funny because I wanted to call Silvana my daughter (Sylvannas, by Lady Sylvannas Windrunner of Warcraft) the mother wanted to call him if he was a boy Victor (by Víctor García, Vocalist of Warcry, we are both fans) the decision came on October 4, when we finally could see if it was a boy or a girl, it turns out that the girl was very well-placed and we could see that she was a beautiful girl! We already knew that it was going to be Silvana (xD I jumped of the emotion), then it was when we were dedicated to buy her things and also some friends gave us several things before we knew sex, and among those things came a dress from the Bella (yes, the beauty and the beast) haha and I joked that so male was going to put it to not waste, luckily, I did not have to do that xD hahaha.
From there and everything was as you say, down, just needed to resolve the clinic where the baby would be born, since as I mentioned before, here in Venezuela the situation is very difficult and everything is extraordinarily expensive, so that they have an idea those who do not live in Venezuela, the salary that the mother and I earned was around 2 million bolivars, her insurance covered 40 million bolivars, mine only covered 2 million bolivars and the labor -which should being cesarean- was in the order of 180 million, another scare more, however with the help of the family we have abroad, PTC pages and our doctor, Dr. Patxi Ariztoy who is not only a spectacular doctor but a spectacular being human, we could overcome that situation, and my beautiful baby came to the world, a rainy Wednesday, March 7 of this year, it should be noted that rainy days are my favorite days.
The day of the birth I was very nervous, one really feels a lot of nerves and anxiety, and in my case I was even very irritable, I did not want anyone to touch the mother or the baby very much, and it was funny, because due to the miomatosis, my wife did not feel any contraction, in fact, we went for a consultation, because the birth was scheduled for after March 10, so despite having a briefcase with everything saved in case the flies, we really did not expect the birth for that day, however when the doctor reviewed it, he noticed that a significant loss of fluid had occurred and that he had to take the baby out immediately.
My levels of anxiety increased horribly, the funny thing was that the mother was the most serene, but I was going convulsing xD, finally my relatives, my father, my mother, my aunts and my dad's wife, unfortunately could not attend my wife's relatives, because they lived in another city, and we had to wait, I was eating my fingers, until finally they came looking for me, and they let me in to see the delivery, unfortunately, maybe because of nerves I went A little late, and the baby was already at the table where they cleaned, while they did the check.
The first thing I heard was his crying, strong beautiful! So full of life! My baby was screaming: I am here fuck! And it was perfect! I really felt a lot of tenderness and happiness, but also some feeling, the doctors manipulate the babies as if they were rubber xD, and she had a face of much discomfort I wanted to take it from the doctors because I did not want to be moved like this :( nevertheless I know it was necessary, I was impressed by how white it looked (then I found out that this is called a greased baby) and how hairy I was born with a lot of hair and with my eyes open, and with an expression that said “Let go, let me in Peace" !, I really was very moved.
After taking some pictures, they took me out of the pavilion, because they were going to take both of them to their respective rooms, the mother to recuperation, and the baby to the maternal, they immediately called me to see the baby in the incubator, and I saw her serene, beautiful! And an awesome look! I know that newborn babies do not see very well, but the expression of the look, is of a person with a lot of character, a very strong spirit of my baby, I felt shaken.
That same day we were taken to the room because we decided that the baby would be fed only with breast milk (decision that we do not regret, although the mother at first yes, but that is material for another writing), obviously it was the mother First to load it and to deal with it, I loaded it after a while, but only a bit, because I had never really carried a baby like that, and it gave me a lot of nerves, apart from the fact that I did not do it well (afterwards the mother confessed that she was also stressed to see me but wanted me to learn), however it was a beautiful feeling, I really learned that one day you can love any person, parents, couples, but love for a child is a unique pod, in fact I've always considered myself very detached from people, I'm not one of those who miss, but I instantly developed an attachment to my awesome daughter, and I thought it was a lie that ... And the most interesting and beautiful thing for me is and The fact that it is reciprocal, since my daughter was born, has always known who I am and today, at 5 months, I fall in love to see how she has gestures towards me that she does not have towards anyone and right now because of work reasons, I am far away, only a few days, but it really hits me not to see her, I know she's fine, her mom is an extraordinary mother, but I just need to carry her, I really do not understand how someone can abandon a being as fragile and beautiful as a child newborn, in short I already got sentimental.
Well, this is a somewhat extensive summary of that first experience, I feel there was a lot to tell, but I wanted to share a little, my emotions and the story of how it was, since I always see experiences of moms, but very little of the parents, and we are in an era where I believe that men can be more sensitive and participate a little more in the experience of raising a child, be it a boy or a girl, thanks for reading, and I hope the story has been to your liking, because I intend start a series on the subject, blessings!