Aloha Steemers & Steemians!
Today I come to you as myself. I don't claim to be a teacher, an expert or a guru of personal development by any means. Although I am a committed student of life and engaged in my own path, and I'm here to share my story. So here it goes :)
This month has become the culmination and pivotal milestone of the past year up until this point. Like climbing up a mountain where the other side holds the key to your dreams, you are challenged by various terrains; both jungle and forest. You encounter illness, fever and the urge to forfeit. The top of the climb has been a mirage, difficult to distinguish the forest among the trees. I'm only in the midpoint of the trail upward, but I'm taking my liberty to pause. To celebrate and reflect before continuing onward to fulfill my personal legend.
"Smile.
Breathe
and go slowly."
[This is a photo I took of a beautiful sign that welcomed the guests
of the Bali Silent Meditation Retreat in Ubud, Bali.]
This month of August I've been facing a lot of changes in my life: mental, physical and spiritual. I would even go as far to say that the theme of August has been reclaiming my personal power.
A short summary of major points of influence in my life until now:
*I recently quit my job working in a medical massage clinic that I have been loyal to for over a year. This clinic taught me so much in such little time, the time I spent there was potent and tiring. I put in a lot of time and effort into building my clientele and I have established meaningful relationships. Although this was all good and great, after a year I felt a hunger in my gut that was beyond digestive - I hungered for a new, and more fulfilling challenge in life. This process of resigning took several months, I didn't have the courage to speak with the owner whom I was very close with, and I regretfully left with a saddened heart. But I know that as time will pass, I will reach out to mend the pieces. Albeit, at last I have opened and cleared the space for a new opportunity to arise.
*After years of indecisive waiting, I have recently returned to University of Hawai'i to pursue a marine naturalist certification, and also pursue the art of photography. Although I've lived on an island my whole life, it has only been the past two years that I have fallen so madly in love with the Ocean and so moved by her, that I feel that a huge part of my life's work has to do with her influence. So I've been playing around with the vast possibilities of ideas of how I could travel the world, save the Ocean, surf, dive and incorporate being a mermaid as a lifestyle. Photography has always been one of my secret passions, something I've always done at an amateur level, but done with joy and ease. Now I'm giving myself permission to explore the skills and grow them at a professional level and work towards creating amazing art that will buttress my affinity to the Ocean and share it with others.
*Also, I have recently discovered that I'm deeply intrigued by the Sacred Feminine archetypal studies. If you have no idea what that is, it's okay. In summation I'm finding my trajectory of personal growth has shifted from studying the work of people like Tony Robbins and Wayne Dyer, to female-priestesses, yoga teachers and speakers like Gabrielle Bernstein and Elayne Doughty. This feminine-focused work has helped me move through so much of my unresolved childhood and adolescence. I'm finally feeling that I know who I Am.
This month:
I have let old dreams die and fade away to make room for new, exciting dreams that align with my changing persona. I have silently accepted the end of certain significant friendships that no longer served my highest good. I am becoming more forgiving and gentle with my personal growth process, and the reprogramming of outworn beliefs and thought patterns that have kept me stuck until now. This soup of emotions, thoughts and memories have been marinating within me for a long time - but now I'm switching up the menu and creating a completely new and delicious life for myself.
I have always had a knack for optimism, but there were points in the past months where I'd question myself -
Am I really happy?
Is this how I want to feel?
Am I okay with settling with this?
And the slow but consistent realizations through discontent and boredom led me to deepen my hunger to nourish myself into a new way of being. A way of being that really allows me to be myself with freedom, passion and unconditional love.
I have to say I'm so grateful to have reached this point. All the work I have put effort into is finally wrapping itself quite elegantly, and I'm eager to unravel and celebrate the progress I have made.
Regardless of the content of my personal story the fact is this:
Life is a series of moments; Cycles strung together in multi-dimensional rhythmic patterns.
What changed for me?
I decided I no longer wanted to believe that I deserved less than others.
I chose happiness instead.
I decided I no longer wanted to shrink in order to make others feel brighter.
I chose to lead by example instead.
I decided I have the power to create the life of my wildest dreams.
I'm choosing to reclaim that power with every moment by living in my authentic presence.
So now how do I move forward? I'm currently revisiting these wise questions:
-What am I BURNING to do?
-What makes me come alive?
-What will I continue doing, even if I'm not getting paid to do it?
I came up with these answers:
-I'm BURNING to tap into my artistic expression: I want to dance all day and all night; I want to sing as loud as I can; I want to take photos that move people, that reveal truth in such tangled times; I want to create stories that people can relate to, that will heal them from the inside out; I want to see myself like the illusive dragonfly - a magical creature that was once a large and fascinating beast that sees beyond deceit. A magician who can manifested anything her heart desires.
-I come ALIVE when I'm: learning something new; learning how to dance hula even if it's only once a week; when I'm surfing my perfect size waves and I can ride the line for what seems like an eternity; when I'm dancing so hard it's like I'm the only one in the room; when I'm lovingly tending to my dog and my loved ones; when I'm walking in silence and deeply listening to the sound of the waves and wind; when I'm in nature; when I'm traveling the world, meeting new people and learning about different cultures.
-Regardless of payment, I will ceaselessly: Learn and challenge myself to become better in every way possible; I will always be the one to give encouragement and constructive criticism; I will always find a role or something good about any person; I will generate ideas; and lastly, I will never stop traveling.
If these questions strike a cord in your heart, feel free to join me and jot them down in a notebook or a journal. I did not originally come up with these questions, although I do intuitively write similar ones like these for myself. Writing helps me really dig deep beneath the superficial BS I may say to another person or to convince myself otherwise.
As I digress, I thank you for taking the time to read this. I enjoyed writing it and I will continue writing in hopes of improving my skills. Now I will continue making my way up the mountain.
At the start of the ascent I was Dion, and even just a few miles ahead I'm becoming someone completely new. This mountain is a representation of my life's journey as a whole. I am the mountain.
[I'm having tea at the summit of Mt. Batur in Bali]
And with that, I'm out.
XO Diondra