Does This Camera Make My Butt Look Big?
If you live in a so called Modern Society... you see it every day, in every way. Digital Perfection. Every curve, every wrinkle, every proportion tweaked to please our greedy, shallow eyes.
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It’s tricky
You think you are a savvy media consumer. You think you are too smart to dare compare yourself to a false image of beauty. It doesn’t effect you. You feel awesome.
mostly
You know you are aging. You know a large part of society (including yourself) is making judgements about your future based on how you look. You know it’s not real. You don’t know why a smart human would participate in such beliefs. You know part of you does anyway.
You know salesman & business owners treat you differently because you are a female in a male dominated profession. You know you are a discerning business owner who knows what is best for her team and her business. You know your male counterparts are seen as powerful. You know you are seen as a bitch.
You know sex sells. You know you want to be known for your clever mind. You know many won’t bother to know that.
You know your heart is strong. You know your thighs and tummy are now softer. You know you could make better choices for your fat ass, but the chocolate covered almonds are just so fucking good! You know you are raising kids, feeding mouths and nourishing souls.
You know you are a
p•e•r•f•e•c•t•i•o•n•i•s•t
You judge yourself the most. You know you are harder on yourself than anyone could ever be.
You know you over react... and cry too much over too little. You know you worry. You know the amount of tissue you use while crying is ridiculous and really bad for the planet. You could at least start using a handkerchief for all those tears.
You criticize every word, every detail. You have trouble sharing deeply because what if you are criticized by another? What if they don’t like what they see, what they hear, who you are. What if you aren’t good enough? Smart enough? Fit enough? You know you want to be accepted. Not by all, just by the ones that matter.
You know it’s all silly. You know there’s more.
You know it’s your journey. These are your lessons.
You know.
i know