Most of my contemporaries are long, long gone. Turned already to a compost heap and bones and are now waiting to be resurrected for judgement and some to inherit the kingdom of God. But one thing is for sure, they are all resting, no more pain, no more fear, uncertainties of what will happen, of what to do when there is a problem. No more problems.
But me, I am left with a broken body with a burden on my mind on the side. it is hard to live in this kind of situation as my body has a progressive bone disorder that now also gives me pain in my mouth as my teeth just strikes my gums and not to mention the enlarging gums and I don't know how large it will grow, it is just hideous-looking and shocking. My mouth is always wide open and is straining me mentally.
One major game changer is my back and now back from dialysis where it washed the effects of pain medicines that i took a while ago, my back is just on a raging rampage. My only solace is when I am sleeping which makes me not to feel anything.
I just always pray to die on my sleep. It has been so many years already and why I am still around? It is just funny too that I am writing about this while I am in deep discomfort. It is also because of my need to fund my needed medical necessities and in the future as no one in my family has the full support if not has the capability to do so for me.
You could forgive me when I am saying that I am really angry with my body. It won't give-up, to hard-headed while some of my fellow patients just died so easily. Me I am dying hard. My pain doesn't allow me to do things like before and it robs mee with a lot of things already. Life shouldn't be like this and it is not the way to live life.