How worst it can get? Back pain, overall body joint pain, speech disability, I was thinking what kind of disability if one is unable to eat in a normal upright manner because I can't do that, I have a disability of performing that.
Then my appearance, difficulty in breathing. My other internal organs are diseased as well. My ears are ringing and I don't know what is the cause if it is from the medicine I am taking or just from my brain or a substance overload in my system which I suspect is the culprit.
I have a myriad of imbalances in my body. A hypo and hyper of a lot of things which more importantly is the hyperparathyroidism that already caused my backbone to collapse and maybe caused my Leontiasis here on my face and mouth.
Then comes the worst that will come and God forbid in my existence, something that rattles my whole being, it had shook me from my emotional and mental foundations. That is by realizing that I might be going to lose my eyesight, and that I might going to get blind on top of all that already happened in my body.
I do not want it, none of it, and I can accept some but losing one's eyesight is just too much to bear. Thinking about t makes me feel so depressed as I can imagine just how hard my life be as I cannot do anything anymore for being just like a vegetable.
It is the final blow for me that I cannot do anything. My mind was thinking now that if that will come to pass, I want anyone to hire an assassin to take my life once and for all because body seems to be incapable of dying while other patients just dies fast while I am dying hard.
I still wanted to continue my life normally and I am okay also dying anytime, it is a 50/50 desire for me. But for now I am just doing what is right which is to fight in order to win. I have steemian friends that fights with me but I also want them to pray fervently, pray with utmost diligence for me not to get blind. Please pray hard for me.