People are eluded to chase the same kind of careers, spouses, spiritual affiliation, material belongings. Each society gives much value to a certain aspects of life than the others. While a certain career is highly regarded at your society, you might be ridiculed for it in another one. Since early childhood everyone is programmed to chase acceptance and admiration by others. In search for acceptance people usually desire what is recognizable and admired by society, otherwise he risks being ignored, ridiculed or left behind to face life alone.
Culture itself is about unifying values, what is considers valuable by society shall be valued by all its members. What means that someone is successful others shall have the same thing to be successful.
As societies raise their children to be socially accepted, they grow up dependent on their entourage for recognizing their self-worth, building their confidence and validation of their desires and achievements.
For the purpose of this article we will categorize our desires into authentic and inauthentic desires.
Inauthentic desires are those that we need to fulfil in order to feel accepted by others, admired by them and not less worthy than anyone we compare ourselves to. Some people seek more money in their lives not to afford what they authentically need but merely to not be considered less accomplished than others. “Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband” H. L. Mencken.
Advertising industry takes advantage of low self-esteem created by society in the first place to promote their products. They use all kinds of psychological tricks to communicate to their audience that their insecurity, confidence problems can be easily resolved by buying whatever is advertised. They stealthily transform individuals’ psychological needs into desires of the advertised products.
The problem with these desires is that it is not rooted in who someone really is yet he unconsciously takes them as his own. The fulfilment of inauthentic desires never satiates the underlying needs. The satisfaction brought by them is short-termed and conditioned by other’s appreciation. Unfortunately people tend to desire more of what they have already achieved or desire another promoted product or idea to deal with the disappointment they feel. The stronger the disappointment feels the more consuming and greedy people become.
On the others hand fulfillment of authentic desires is independently joyous. No appreciation or acknowledgment is required from society. In other terms, it spares us the desire for others acceptance. Every goal that is authentically set and reached brings us closer to who we are, sustains our sense of dependency and makes us more knowledgeable of ourselves.
Every tine progress in fulfilling an authentic desire makes us feel on top of the world and brings immediate and spontaneous satisfaction. Moreover, authentic desires don’t need external motivation, it is the fire that burning in your heart trying to take control.
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