So many of us live with many social peers and friends, but do we really need them?
The Harsh Reality
Here is the messed up part. We live in a world where other people are the reason why we kill ourselves, but at the same time, people are the reason why we live as well. Other people are our happiness, they are also our hatred.
So we know being social is crucial. But it is more than just crucial, it is your life. You live for other people, as other people live for you. This is true, but it is also true we live solely for ourselves, but we do so in the company of other people and of the system in which you've grown in is comprised of other people. So yes, you literally do live for other people. From this, we can agree that being social is a component to happiness.
For those who possess a social acuity, it is obvious to note the hidden, often unconscious, desire to be loved. It is an integral fact of socialising that nobody brings up yet everyone operates from.
Unconditional Love
The desire to be loved. That is a key to happiness, it is love, isn't it? And we acquire this by being social.
"The strongest predictor of happiness is not money or external recognition through success or fame. It's having meaningful social relationships."
But here's the real truth about being social. I am still who I am, irrelevant of other people's opinions. People's opinion is more about them than about anyone else. Plus it constantly changes and is based on so many assumptions. So in short, other people really don't matter at all, they really don't. But then, why are we so inclined to care about their opinions? Hath God created an illogical creature?!
No. The desire to be loved is a very natural desire. What infant doesn't desire to be loved by its mother? What parent/spouse doesn't desire to be loved by their child or partner? If you had a choice would you choose unrequited love over the "requited" kind? Let's face it, we all appreciate being loved. The desire in itself is not the issue.
Criticism
The issue arises when it stems from a place of lack. Where the default mode we live in is one in which we are "unloved". Then what we begin seeking from others is not just their love but the validation that we are worthy of love. And that is something no one can give.
We are social beings that thrive on feedback. It's what draws us to engage in relationships and group dynamics. If I thought everyone on this forum detested each and every one of my posts, pretty soon I'd stop posting (unless I was a sucker for punishment). And so the feedback that my words are having a positive impact provides me with the motivation to continue posting.
So now, this is an eye opener and a chance to discuss where true happiness lies this day and age.
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Thank you for reading