I have written previously about boundaries and I wanted to revisit the topic today. It feels like the more aware of my own self I become that it raises awareness of others testing my personal boundaries. Most conflicts seem to arise from these issues, and while I firmly believe in promoting peace, we come to the point where eventually people make personal attacks. So how do we maintain a peaceful existence when being challenged by others? Why do others feel the need to test our boundaries or keep entering into situations where they know they will be triggered? I'll discuss my thoughts on why people feel the need to test boundaries today.
I don't think of it so much as a personal thing as I feel it's more about defining our own sense of self and I feel that we are all fluid beings that change and develop over time. I try to maintain a state of observation for the most part and remain impartial, but we are all human and we all have base instincts and desires as part of that experience. Some have the desire to do harm just as others have the desire to do no harm. The issue is that most of us aren't self aware enough to realize when we are doing harm. On the other hand even if we are self aware enough of our own actions to realize when we are harming someone, it can feel like some people perpetually push us into a state of retaliation. So how do we avoid retaliation while defending our own rights and beliefs? Disengagement is fine to a point, but at some point confrontations are unavoidable.
When meeting conflict I generally try to avoid any form of personal attack. I feel this comes from a place of respect for both self and other. If I want someone to respect my beliefs and personal freedoms to think and feel how I want, then it's only fair to offer the same courtesy. Some times we fundamentally disagree about serious issues and many of these are ingrained into individuals throughout our lives by societal programming and it forms the foundation of our egos. If we are aware enough of our own ego, have control over our id and our base instincts, and defend ourselves from a non-combative or non-competitive place, we realize that there is no winning in conflict. If there is no winning then we can uphold our own beliefs and share without needing to cause conflict with others.
It doesn't change the fact that we disagree, but forming a strong sense of self eliminates the need to prove anything to anyone else or convince them to change their beliefs. I feel that we are all responsible for knowing and upholding our own peaceful boundaries, but sometimes people refuse to let that be an option. It's ultimately up to each of us to defend our equal right to existence by whatever means we feel is necessary, but I try to approach it from a peaceful mindset. I think of all of us as pieces to some greater whole. All of us are equally necessary to complete the picture and we are all working towards that same goal even when we aren't aware of it. As much as it's our responsibility to respect other's right to be themselves, we owe ourselves that same courtesy and I feel we should weigh our actions equally. I'll sum it up with a quote I often hear 