There are two types of habit we want to change, the first is a bad habit that we no longer want to practice. The second is a good habit that we would like to cultivate to a point that it is natural to us.
In Zen Golf, Dr. Joseph Parent talks about the Pebbles In A Bowl technique, which is an old Zen practice used to get rid of bad habits. We have touched upon it in a previous article regarding Getting Rid Of The Anyways, now let us explore it further.
Choose The Bowl
A young monk was sitting one day and wondered how many thoughts he had while meditating which were virtuous, and nonvirtuous. He gathered some pebbles and placed a bowl to his right and one to his left.
While meditating that day each time he had a nonvirtuous thought he would place a pebble in the right hand bowl, and a virtuous thought he would place in the left.
After he finished he noted that all the pebbles were in the right hand bowl. Without judging himself he carried on the practice. After a few days the two bowls were about even.
After a few weeks, only the left, virtuous bowl had any pebbles in it.
- Zen Golf (paraphrase)
The above story is hundreds of years old, yet it describes a powerful way of not only eliminating a bad habit, but to change it to a good one.
However as Dr Joe says in Zen Golf, carrying a bowl and a bunch of pebbles around the golf course is not exactly practical to say the least!
So it is up to us to choose our own bowl and pebbles.
In golf the perfect substitute for a bowl is the scorecard. This is something that every golfer carries around with them as they play, and there is plenty of room on there for bowl and pebble marking.
The key to choosing your bowl, is to figure out the easiest way to incorporate it into your life, and to keep it to something attached to the habit.
So for instance, you may want to limit the time you spend on Facebook and social media. In which case your 'bowl' would be a note, or Word document open on your computer desktop or phone.
Each time you find yourself logging mindlessly on, you simply go to the note and make a mark.
Choosing The Pebble
Remember this exercise is as much about being non-self judgemental, as it is about getting rid of a bad habit.
So in that regard, make sure that the 'pebble' you choose has neither negative nor positive associations.
In the same way a pebble is just a pebble, there are no good or bad/evil pebbles, they simply are.
You too must choose something that exists beyond the realm of good and bad. So for instance, in the example above whereby you are trying to stop logging onto Facebook 400 times a day. You might choose an 'O' or a random number, or letter.
Make sure you keep it abstract, so don't make it 'F' for Facebook, or 'L' for logon.
After a while you will start to see a lot less.
Scaling Your Way To A Good Habit
Above we saw that simply by marking down all the times you engage in a habit you want to break, you will reduce the amount of times you take part in that habit.
However it is not always as clear cut as I am doing 'A' and I want to stop. Sometimes it is about changing a habit within a repeated, prescribed action.
For example, in Zen Golf Dr Joe talks of a student of his who would take great practice swings, however when it came to her hitting the actual ball. She often tried to guide it in the direction she wanted, which would end in poor results.
Perhaps you have something that you need to do everyday and are happy that you're doing it in the first place, however you want to improve upon how you're doing it.
For instance you may be studying to learn a new skill or for an exam. You would like your study to go a certain way, that is to say you would like to study for at least 2 hours in complete silence.
Whatever the task is, you need to create a scale of 1-5, with 1 being when you are not performing how you would like, and 5 being when you hit all the right notes.
So in our example above, a study session whereby you have logged onto the internet for non-research purposes and perhaps not spent the whole 2 hours studying, you would give yourself a 1. The closer you got to the optimum performance you would make it a 4 or 5.
As with the golfing student of Dr Joe, you will find after a short time that 1s and 2s, quickly change into 4s and 5s.
See It Mark It Do It!
Whatever your goals are, the key here is to recognise the thing you want to change. Then mark it down in whatever fashion you choose.
Once you have done this, the rest will naturally follow. Just remember, in these exercises you are an observer and not a judge.
Do not feel disheartened if you see lots of marks telling you you are repeating your bad habit, and do not be down on yourself when you see lots of 1s and 2s.
Instead, simply observe this way you will become a mental ninja, ready to take on the world!
WHAT OLD HABITS WOULD YOU LIKE TO BREAK? WHAT NEW HABITS ARE YOU TRYING TO FORM? OR PERHAPS YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO TWEAK AND IMPROVE?
AS EVER, LET ME KNOW BELOW!
Attaining Wisdom Through Golf series:
Attaining Wisdom Through Golf - Becoming The Fourth Cup
Attaining Wisdom Through Golf - Don't Think Of A Monkey: Overcoming Your Fears
Attaining Wisdom Through Golf - How Big Is Your Mind?
Attaining Wisdom Through Golf - Cutting Out The Anyways
Attaining Wisdom Through Golf - Body Fake It Till You Mentally Make It
Attaining Wisdom Through Golf - Be Your Own Best Friend
Attaining Wisdom Through Golf - Learning Perfection
Attaining Wisdom Through Golf - Getting The Cat Into The Box
Attaining Wisdom Through Golf - Three Mind Wisdom
Attaining Wisdom Through Golf - Connecting Mind And Body For Optimum Performance
Title image: Pan Xiaozhen on Unsplash