I WAS NOT THE FIRST ONE
(And I certainly won't be the last)
Don't get me wrong, I'm not that depressive but life is one big weakening tragedy. People play their roles with so much effort it's like they don't really realise their part's almost ended.
Some, who don't want to partake in this tragic play get judged as anarchists or hippies by some people, including me. Yeah I know it's ironic isn't it?
Most people want to end their part with a bang, but it mostly ends in regret. Why is that?
Why do we pretend there's a system when there's actually never been one, like ever.
I guess people get support out of it. They forget all the misery when they go with this "system". It's sad, it really is. We live our stupid, pointless lives thinking we're superior, thinking we're the rulers of this godforsaken planet but when you zoom out, when you forget the world, forget the others, forget the whole damned galaxy and zoom out 'till you reach the universe, the great oblivion we're floating in, you see that we're just a small speck of dust instead of the so superior beings we think we are.
I guess people don't want to see that or maybe they simply can't see it.
They'll get depressed anyways. Maybe it's better how it is. Only a few know this and only a few try to understand it. Trying to understand an abstract concept that may not even exist is fucking hard, you know? So, what is this "system"? What is this wild concept every sane person follows? Let's find out, if there's anything to find out at all.
The system: We're born and our future is almost instantly determined by some crazy adults we call parents. They project their lost and forgotten dreams on us, some do it subtle and others just slam it right in there.
Next, we go to school. We learn a whole lot of things we're probably not going to use in our later lives and when we make a remark, the only answer we get is: "it's for the sake of your education and wellbeing".
Yeah exactly, knowing how to make a differentiation will help me be a good and healthy person, for sure.
Then, some of us go to college where we finally learn things we can use in the professions or jobs we like and want. If we find any work at all.
Again, college is nice but you're not very much with a master's degree in law when you're sitting at the cash register of the local supermarket when you’re trying to pay debts and trying to live a fairly good life at the same time.
But sadly that's where a lot of us begin and/or end. Oh, and after about 40 years of hard work doing something you may or may not like, you retire. And then? Then you waste your last years on this stupid orb by going on cruises or group travels, that is if you have any money saved. And that's all you can do.
You don't have any energy anymore and you look back at your past in regret and realise, while drawing your last breath that life is one big bitch. Something you should've realised a long time ago.
And now, after all this ranting, here's my story.
It all started when I was 5. Haha, no, I'm not gonna whine like a stereotypical shrink-goer but, like, what's my story? What's your story? What's our Story? Is there even a story? Aha, back to the system. Funny how when you start thinking about shit you question if the shit even exists.
And so we think our lives away; at least I did.
Yup. I'm dead, I'm as dead as I can get.