Today I read about an interesting theory of the "third phrase" Indeed, how we begin to build our questions solves a lot. Many problems can be avoided unless "starting with the third phrase"
Over and over again, I tell my daughter: "Do not start with the third phrase!"
Sits at the table and immediately with despair and resentment in his voice:
- Why did not they give me bread?
"This is the third phrase, dear." The first should be: "Give me, please, bread" (80% of the problems it solves on the spot).
The second: "Sorry, I said that I need bread. Perhaps you did not hear? "(The probability of getting bread grows to 95%).
And only if they did not give it after that, you can exclaim the same, the third phrase: "Why did not they give me bread?" But most likely it will not be needed.
When you begin to disassemble terrible outrage, resentment and resentment of someone's behavior, ask yourself first thing: did you say to this person that you want something, but something is not? Does he have any suspicions about what you are unhappy about? As it does not hurt, people do many things not because they actively want us bad, but because they are busy with themselves and do not intend to ponder over us, into our thin strings and very nerve endings. But they can do a lot in your favor if we (using this gift of direct speech) let them know about it!
Alika Kalaida