I was a crybaby growing up. If someone broke my toy, I would cry.
If someone hit me, I would cry.
If someone made a joke at me guess what? I would cry.
With all those tears shed, you'd be surprised how often I didn't get dehydrated.
It was permissible to be a “cry baby” as a child because you aren't expected to be strong; you aren't expected to understand.
But as I grew older, crying was seen as something negative, something weak. When the hell did that flip switch? Where was I to approve of it?
Thing is, that wasn't up to me. For so long, I was told to not be “sensitive.” I was told not to cry, and I was told to hold it in.
So I did.
I held those tears in because I felt that in order to be strong, I couldn't show this kind of emotion. In order to be strong, I wasn't allowed to cry.
I'll say this now because it's the truth: I wasn't allowed to cry because I'm a boy.
That's the mindset society calls for in its male-identifying individuals: hidden emotion and visible physical strength.
To tell the truth, I can not remember the last time I cried, or felt the tears dripping on my cheeks, dripping on my shirt collar.
Yet, I don't feel any stronger having not cried for so long. In fact, I feel broken.
I Can not express these feelings out, so I feel confined to some hidden male temperament as the invisible box, in a way to suppress my strength.
I will not cry at the funeral, but in times of sadness and despair, I want to cry, like anything in the world but My body just wouldn't let me.
It is the moment when tears are allowed but their were none, It's wrong to let that get to me because it's nothing I could control at the time.
It's something I didn't know I could control, like I do now.
The only thing we stand by is our own thoughts, we think what others will think of us. We're our worst nightmare and our own white knights.
Once you realize that, I guess things don't become so bad or upsetting or odd because that's when you realize that you have total control over anything and everything.
When I control my emotions, I will say that I will allow my child to cry, I will allow my friend to cry, I will allow anyone who wants to cry.
Because crying is a good thing. It isn't a sign of weakness by any mean; if we can decide that it's strength.
To wear your heart on your sleeve for the whole world to see shouldn't be weakness, it should be seen as bravery.
When you stop and take a look at the world constructed around you, how many people do you think are truly strong?
How many people can confidently boast of their own strongness? Probably not a lot.
Crying is sometimes the truest form of emotions, But few people dare to do so because they do not believe it is true.
Like me, they keep their emotions and feel that they can not measure what the world thinks is strong. Well, who cares what the world thinks? Push them aside and learn to say this out loud:
I am strong.
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