Perfect people don’t exist. If anyone is trying to make you perfect, they are trying to kill you.
- Gracious Egedegbe, 2018 (Yelp, that’s me!)
Everyone is trying to get better at something, consciously or consciously. They say you become an expert at what you repeatedly do. Well, that saying has some element of truth in it. So yes, we are all trying to get better at something. We try to be better at writing, listening, being a good father, mother, lover, etc. Everyone says the goal is to become perfect. I don’t agree. As I will prove in this piece, perfection is an illusion.
The World Demands That You’re Perfect
Everywhere you go, there are motivational and inspirational books and speakers telling you to improve your life, to become perfect at what you do. You hear words like excellence, perfection and flawlessness thrown all around you. You look at your life and feel like a loser. Slowly, your self-esteem begins to ebb away in the torrential flow of the world’s demand for perfection.
You turn on the Television Set and you see the young lady with the flawless skin. The ad tells you that to have a perfect skin, you need a particular soap, cream or whatever beauty treatment they are offering. You connect to the internet and you read about the perfect lifestyle, the perfect wedding, the perfect vacation. Heck, even the perfect version of you!
The Perfect Rat Race
I believe that everyone in the world wants to be loved. They want people to love them and they want to love themselves. But it seems like if they are not perfect, or trying to be, no one will ever love them. So people put in all of their best in chasing perfection.
This breeds the feeling that one is not enough. Your face isn't enough. Your weekly earning isn't enough. Your ideas aren't enough. Even your partner isn’t doing enough. So everyone tries to up their game, to try to attain perfection. The only problem with that is Perfection is an illusion. You can never be/have enough.
Forget what the media feeds you, perfect people don’t exist. Perfection is just a word, an ideal to spurn people to make good use of their potentials. These days, it is mostly a manipulation tool used for marketing and propaganda. No one has been perfect; no one is perfect and no one will ever be perfect!
The reason why perfection is an illusion is because the standard is always changing. At some point, Steemit was perfect. Today, everyone talks about the one million things that are wrong with it. At some point in human history, the perfect piece of ride was an Arabian stallion. Then it was the ships. And then the cars. Then the trains. And now, it’s private jets. The world is constantly changing, you cannot remain perfect in its eyes forever.
The moment you begin to pursue perfection, you join the rat race. You will never be/have enough. There will always be one flaw you’ll have to fix; and just when you do that, you find two more.
The Alternative: Be Yourself
You are perfect just the way you are. I am not trying to butter you up. Your skin colour is perfect. Your hair is perfect. Your height is perfect. Even your flaws are perfect. The fact that you’re even alive is a feat. You think you have problems? Trust me, there are probably a million cases worse than yours right now.
Rather than chase perfection and gradually become someone that doesn’t exist, why don’t you be yourself. Don’t get me wrong. I am not advocating mediocrity. In fact, I am talking about the very alternative.
Love Yourself
The first step to getting out of the rat race is to love yourself. You have to look at yourself in the mirror and affirm that you are worth loving, just the way you are. (If you’re as weird as I am, you could strip in your bathroom while carrying out this exercise). You need to love yourself in spite of your flaws and imperfections.
Darling, everyone has flaws. Even the beautiful lady on the magazine cover has her demons. You can choose to focus on your flaws or on your strengths. But whatever you do, always remember that you’ll always be imperfect in some measure. But I guess that’s what makes us human.
Make It Worth The While
Your life is too short and precious to cry about the many things you are not. Sometimes, I read other people’s essays and I get caught up in the moment. I envy their use of word, imagery and all of that. In my mind, these are the perfect writers, if only I could become like them.
I have learnt that isn’t the right way to live. While I am busy comparing myself to them, or even trying to imitate them, I forget to live my own life. What you should do is to learn what you can and move on with your life. You can get better at what you do without having to live up to unrealistic expectations.
Define Your Own Life
At some point, we all need standards and ideals to help us make sense of our world. Sometimes, other people force their standards on us. You have to write in a particular way. You have to sing with a particular style. You need an elaborate set-up before you propose to your partner. You can think of more.
However, in so doing, you are living other people’s life. You need to define your own life based on what makes you happy. If cooking your vegetables for an hour makes you happy, then do it. You don’t have to live up to some perfect standard. For me, I am developing my own writing style based on how best I can express myself. I’m done living in another writer’s shadow.
Life Is Short, Enjoy It
Life is too short to hide yourself until you become perfect. At some point, you need to ask yourself if you want to live in the spotlight, or you want to enjoy your life. If you crave the spotlight, it’s all right. But for most people, they simply want to have fun. They want to be happy. They want to feel loved. They want to love themselves.
If you fall into that category, then begin to enjoy your life. You don’t need a million dollars or the perfect partner to enjoy yourself. Start with how you walk. Walk freely and happily. Eat like you’re dining in a five-star hostel. Laugh full and free. Write like the world can’t wait to hear your thoughts. You are not perfect and you can’t do anything about that. But you can enjoy yourself, have fun with those that matter to you and laugh at your imperfections.
Share More With Those Around You
Rather than seek perfection, share what you have with those around you. Try to put a smile on someone’s face everyday. Give a hug, share a meal, request a song for that special person on the radio. Do something that makes someone happy.
You know the best part about this? You don’t have to be perfect to share. For most people, the gesture is enough. Someone behind you is probably wondering if they are worth your time and attention. Your friends and family love you just the way you are. Share happiness with them.
Final Words: Be Happy; Love Yourself
Life is too short to worry about your imperfections. Live your life to the fullest. Share with those around you. Love yourself. Be happy. Smile
If you like this, an upvote and resteem will greatly motivate me to write more.
Thanks for reading
Blessings
[Image source: Pixabay]