Hello friends most of us have had to overcome complicated situations at some point, those that force us to stop or even close doors. Vital crises that we classify as negative because they force us to change, be it the way of acting or thinking, but which, nevertheless, can also become opportunities to move forward.
Although there are many types of life crises, there are some more common than others. For example, there are those related to the change of stage, such as the transition from childhood to adolescence, from youth to adulthood, the crisis of maturity and the end of life.
Other crises are related to identity, they have to do with who we are and what we identify with. And there are also crises caused by a loss such as the death of a loved one, a breakup, a divorce or a dismissal.
Crises are opportunities for transformation, moments of transition before which we have to act. Below we explain 4 ways to face these situations with the aim of getting stronger from them. Let's deepen.
"Man discovers himself when measured against an obstacle."
-Antoine de Saint-Exupéry-
Face what happens
Life crises can start with some warning signs such as feelings of sadness and fear, or symptoms of anxiety or even pain. If we pretend that they are not there, these signals can get bigger, with more noisy symptoms and worse consequences.
On the other hand, we must bear in mind that our personal history influences our conception of crisis and how we face it. For example, if it is a break, feelings of abandonment may arise because of what was experienced during childhood.
In addition, the way to solve our problems is usually also determinant. If we usually drown in a glass of water, we are likely to feel overwhelmed by the crisis and find it harder to face it. Therefore, it is important to reflect on what is happening to find new alternatives, make decisions and make the necessary changes.
The situation may also imply that we reformulate our values
and beliefs and that we set ourselves new goals. Vital crises require us to examine ourselves, to learn new ways of dealing with situations. Therefore, we can not remain paralyzed, but act to continue advancing.
"Only a crisis, real or perceived, leads to real change. When that crisis takes place, the actions that take place depend on the ideas that float in the environment. "
-Milton Friedman-
Life crises are temporary
Crises, like all processes, have a beginning, a development with a peak moment and an end. Hence, it is advisable to train our thinking to remind us that what happens to us will also happen.
Now, what to do as we deal with that temporary pain? Crises often harbor opportunities to change, so we can take advantage of them to learn other points of view and other ways of acting. In fact, they are an excellent time to stop repeating behaviors and ways of doing that no longer work.
However, the temporality of life crises is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it will help us to reduce pain and transform it. However, the opportunities that come with them will also disappear after a while. Our attitude will be fundamental. It will depend on us to emerge stronger or on the contrary.
"In major crises, the heart is broken or tanned."
-Honore de Balzac-
Release the past
The solutions of the past have stopped working. The previous situation, although we thought it was better, does not exist anymore. Accepting it will make us manage our emotions better. Although the past is more comfortable and gives us a sense of security, the sooner we recognize what we are facing, the sooner we can find new strategies to overcome it.
Sometimes, clinging to the past generates a false security against the uncertain. But in a crisis we have to face our insecurities and weaknesses. Therefore, instead of using the past as an excuse, we can use it as a reference. In this way, we will find it easier to identify strengths and resources that we had forgotten.
Also, without clinging to the past, we can look more clearly into the future to reflect and visualize where we want to go. Now, if we continue to be obsessed with it, it may hinder our path and make us think that our goal has evaporated or that we are not going to achieve it.
Thus, if we let go of the past, we are more likely to realize that the crisis is only a blip. Even when looking to the future, new possibilities may open up.
"The problem with the world is that intelligent people are full of doubts, while stupid people are full of certainties."
-Charles Bukowski-
Talking to a partner is a good solution
Ask for help
Life crises often flood us with shame and guilt, feelings that can take us away from our loved ones. However, there is nothing wrong with recognizing that we can not leave a situation alone. Finding support from people who are close to you or who are going through the same thing can give us strength. Of course, it is important that the people we support are optimistic and that they help us reflect or calm anxiety.
In this sense, we can also go to a psychologist to obtain a neutral perspective without judgment. A mental health professional can offer us a safe space to speak without fear of our situation and how we feel. On the other hand, it will also help us to think about what happens and to find a solution.
The important thing is to be aware that there is no need to go through this situation alone. There are inevitable crises that are part of life. We all go through them. Others, those that have to do more with relationships, are also lived by many people, who may even come to share our emotions. Therefore, talking with others about what happens to us can help us feel understood.
Life crises do not necessarily have to be an extremely hard process, but neither can we ignore them thinking that they will go by themselves. They are not easy to overcome and require time, but they can be opportunities to rediscover and define ourselves.
"I have six honest servants (they taught me everything I know). Their names are What, Why, When, How, Where and Who. "
-Rudyard Kipling-
