Many people look for a mate/partner that has good physical features. Bodily perfection is a heavy attractor. But what about their psyche, their consciousness, their "mind"/"heart", their "soul"? Doesn't that matter more or less?
What is our "soul mate", really? Is it someone who is true of "mind", "heart" or "soul"? Or do we want someone who is false? I think most people want a true person. But what does that entail?
The true "soul mate" is someone who can reflect you back to yourself, to show you the falsity that you may be attached to that limits you and holds you back from actualizing greater potential ways of being. A light is sown onto the parts of ourselves we have kept in the shadows, unaware or not seeing clearly. They bring us to pay attention to ourselves so that we an change our lives for the better.
If someone is not willing to tell you the truth that can help you heal and better yourself, are they a true "soul mate"? A true "soul" is someone who will share the truth even if it might hurt because we don't want to hear it, because it breaks our selfview or worldview. Many things we believe in can keep us acting in certain ways because we derive value or meaning from remaining attached to it. Being smacked awake by tearing down those walls can be a shock and we can not appreciate the truth being given to us, or the falsity being torn down.
But someone who cares to speak truth and confront us on our falsity is someone who does care to help us move forward. They care for truth, and they care that we find the truth by letting go of falsity. Speaking truth against falsity is an act of care, of "love". The love of truth to speak truth is what can help people to change and let go of what is holding them back, what is holding humanity back from evolving to better ways.
I try to be this for people, but many have not see that truth is "love". They want to hide from the truth, reject it, and tell me I'm "mean", "unkind", "uncaring", un- this or that, "violent" or "hateful" because I speak the truth that shatters their delicate false sense of self and attachment to falsity or even beliefs they so much want to hold onto for meaning and value in their lives. If I don't let people keep their desire, want or "need" to hold onto a belief that isn't demonstrably true, then I'm "disrespecting" them and being "violent" to try to show them a belief is not truth.
Many people have issue with letting go. Many don't want to change, heal, purify, transmute, sublimate and rectify the wrongs, errors, mistakes and evil that they are a part of. Their attachments prevent them confronting themselves honestly in a care for truth. Their convenience, ease, pleasure and comfort in life supersedes the importance of truth in their lives. They value truth less than their attachments that keep them hooked on beliefs.
Beliefs often hold greater value and meaning because of how they makes us feel, by giving us a made up or fantastical answer that provide us with value, meaning and purpose in our lives. Once we are attached to that gap filling answer, we don't want to let go of that "known" to be left with a dark spot of an unanswered unknown. The belief we held with value, meaning and purpose for our lives, selfview or worldview would be missing, and we would be left with a hole and gap in our sense of self, lost and fractured from it going away.
A "soul"-psyche-"consciousness" that pokes holes in the beliefs we hold so dear to form our identity or sense of self is not usually welcome. But we must ask ourselves, do we want to have what is true as part of who we are? Or are we simply content to have whatever beliefs we want to believe that make us feel good about ourselves, about life, about existence, and gives us the value, meaning and purpose we would be lacking otherwise?
We need to be aware when we are fooling ourselves, and others can help us see that. A true "soul" can help heal us form our foolishness.
Thank you for your time and attention. Peace.
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